Wedding Dress

I’m trying on wedding dresses on Monday, and I am very excited. I have one picked out, on sale, and the store has it in stock. All of this wedding dress talk has really got me thinking. I’ve always loved the song “Wedding Dress” by Derek Webb, and I encourage you to listen to it before continuing to read.

“I am a whore I do confess, I put You on just like a wedding dress and I run down the aisle, run down the aisle. I’m a prodigal with no way home, I put You on just like a ring of gold and I run down the aisle, run down the aisle, to You.”

As I sought the Lord at the conference this past week, He graciously brought all my cluttered thoughts into one broad theme, and that is my identity. I’ve been reading books and articles recently about Godly womanhood, and a burden has been growing in me to foster that Godliness both in myself and in other women.

So I get to thinking about a wedding dress. Our clothing, our uniform helps create our identity. If we work at McDonald’s, we’ll wear a hat with the big yellow arches. A doctor wears a lab coat. A mom might wear yoga pants and an adoption t-shirt (okay maybe not…just had to throw that in there) J But in any case, our clothing helps to define us, and gives a little glimpse of who we are and what we do. When you see a beaming woman in a gorgeous white gown, she looks like a princess, and you know that she is a bride. She is going to walk down the aisle to her husband. The white is a symbol of purity, something that has lost tremendous value in the past 50 years, and it makes my heart ache. Regardless, the wedding dress is the outward evidence of a bride.

While I absolutely cannot wait to find that perfect dress, I am far less concerned about that than what is on the inside. What is my inward evidence of being a bride-to-be. Any bride can put on a dress and walk down an aisle to be married. But when that ceremony is over, she takes that dress off and she is not only a woman but a wife. When we become Christians, we become a part of the Church, which is the Bride of Christ. In one of my workshops last week, they gave us 3 qualities of the Bride of Christ which should in turn be possessed by women of the Lord.

1. Beautiful- think and act beautifully. This means grasping on to the identity which is found in Christ with both hands, believing it with your head and your heart.
2. Confident- This attribute stems from the first one. Your confidence in your beauty as a Daughter of the King should in turn be reflected in your actions. When others see you, they should see something different about you- a peace and rest about who you are as a person, and a confidence in your ability to be used by the Lord.
3. Unshakeable hope- oh how beautiful these words are. We possess an unshakeable, unwavering hope that cannot be taken from us. Let me repeat that. It CANNOT be taken from us. I cannot tell you how many times I have let that be snatched away from my hands. A negative comment, a frustrating number when I step on the scale, a doubting professor, a disappointment. We are faced with these things everyday. For that matter, my first look in the mirror in the morning can dictate whether or not I claim that hope for today. But- if we claim that beauty from Christ, and with confidence believe it regardless of what the day brings, we will have this unshakeable hope.

So on Monday, I’ll be whisked away into every girl’s dream. I’ll try on dress after dress, I might cry when I find the right one, and I’ll truly feel like a bride. But in my heart of hearts, I know that this dress is only temporary, only an outward fixture of that big day. In the end, I am a woman of the Lord, a Princess Warrior, a Daughter of the King, and I have a lifetime of marriage to look forward to when the make-up is taken off and the dress is gone. Just as we don't want to slip on our identity as "Christian" and slip it off again, I do not want to just slip on the wedding dress and call myself a bride. Our roles as Godly women go much deeper than this.

As I seek the Lord’s face for what this season holds for me as a bride-to-be, I’m asking him to mold me, and put me through His refining fire, that I might come out on the other end a beaming woman clothed in the purity of Christ. And I long for this for every woman who is sitting staring at their computer screen reading these words. Truly. I care for your heart, I long for women to embrace our place in this world, the identity that God has given us. Will you join me on this journey of seeking the Father’s heart in a world that calls for the opposite of a gentle and quiet spirit with inward beauty? I believe that He has so much for us.

"but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. ⁵For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves."

1 Peter 3:4-5

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:30

2 weeks.

2 weeks ago, he got down on his knee and slid a ring on my finger.

Ever since, life has been a whirlwind!

I have become the girl who catches herself staring at her hand, just to make sure the ring is still there, and to do a little dreaming about the big day.

I've become the girl who cries about whether or not to have a DJ.

I've become the girl who pulls out the post-it note pad from her purse to randomly jot down ideas for the wedding, or a task for the to-do list.

Oh yes, the wedding planning is in full speed!

But the beautiful thing about it, is that in 301 days, I will be a bride blessed beyond measure.

The Lord has been showing me so many things as I prepare my heart for this journey.

More blog posts to come :)

Roses....and a ring!

This may be one of my most exciting blog posts....so sit back and enjoy! :)

I've grown up looking at this steeple. I remember feeling so special when I got to go on my first "tour" of the steeple with one of the church dads before the building was constructed. Little did I know just how much of my life would be shaped by this church and the people in it. Little did I know I would grow up with the man who would be my husband. Little did I know that I would fall in love watching him pray with our youth group, selflessly serve, and be a leader. But God did. And when He said that He had good plans for me, plans for a hope and a future, His promise was true. Why do I ever doubt Him?

I have dreamed and prayed for the man that I would walk down the aisle to someday. I prayed that He would bring us together when the time was right, that we would be able to further the kingdom better together than we can apart. Last night, Spencer took me on a "6-month anniversary date." So I got dressed up, we took a picture, and drove to a restaurant we had gone to in high school. On our way back, we had to stop by the church to drop off a letter. While we were inside, the steeple door just happened to be open, and he suggested we go up to take a look for old-times sake. I agreed, and as soon as I climbed the ladder to the landing, there was a Guatemalan blanket laid out on the floor with candles and a bouqet of roses. He got down on his knee and asked me to marry him. And, of course, I said yes :)

I now have a ring made with the stones of his great-grandmother's ring, and I couldn't be more proud to be representing that family. I would have been happy with a plastic one from Target so this is more beautiful than I could have asked for.

But the ring is merely a symbol. It's a symbol of the bonds that have been formed over the years through Christ. First by a friendship that was kindled into something deeper and long-lasting. It's a symbol of the new call that the Lord has added- wife (well, not quite yet. But next summer). The more I read about women, the more I learn that humans were created for marriage, as a representation of the Church as the bride of Christ. Our identity as women is founded in this, and it's a huge role to fulfill, one that I will fail at frequently. Yet just as we are imperfect, so is the Church- and God's grace is SO much bigger!

My mouth hurt from smiling last night, and it does today too. My heart is full of joy and expectation for what the Lord has in store for us. I do not deserve this gift, I do not deserve to be the bride of my high school sweetheart, a man who has grown to be so strong in the Lord. But yet, God chose to give it to me anyways, and I take it with open hands, ready to take this next step in this journey of faith!

Proverbs 31

I've been reading through the Proverbs and last night I got to the last one- Proverbs 31. Somehow I'd forgotten about this chapter and I got really excited to read through it again. It'd been awhile since I'd sat and contemplated this chapter, specifically the chapter on being a Godly wife. Here it is:

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,

bringing food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and busy it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hand to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, praises her;

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31

I read these verses and was encouraged and overwhelmed all at the same time. My first thought, which I wrote in my bible was, what an awesome calling God has given us. Lord would you make me that wife some day?! Ladies, we have been given the greatest calling of being wives and mothers to the men that God raises up for us. Though that day is far off for alot of us, God began working in our hearts long ago to prepare us for the role that we will play in our future marriages and families. My second thought was, oh wow. I have such a long way to go before I could ever get close to being all of those things this chapter talks about. There are so many things that I need to change, so many things I am not. But, we're a work in progress, right?? That's why the Lord starts His work in our hearts at the beginning, and He will give us what we need for the task He lays before us. Anyways, after reading and praying I shut my light off and a poem popped into my head. I'd written a poem off of this chapter back here, but I'll post the one I wrote last night as well.

A greater call

A greater calling none can find

No greater commitment do any vows bind

To be a faithful, loving wife

Through joy and through strife.

To serve and work togehter

To be faithful for forever

To risk, fail, and succeed

To follow and to lead

To be the other half

of a team that would certainly lack

if the other were not there,

They're partners, lovers, a pair.

To cling to his hand,

through dark desert land.

Learning to trust and submit

in this God-given man.

To be a faithful loving wife

A great calling none can find.

9/15/09

She Was Watchin'

I got the Mark Schultz "Broken and Beautiful" music book today and have been playing those songs. I had forgotten about this song and cried all over again when I listened to it today!

Mark Schultz "She Was Watchin"

(turn off the music on the right hand column of the page so you can hear the song!)

Here's a poem I wrote in response to this song.... (Dad, i hope you don't mind that I posted this.... :) I'll take it off if you want me to! You were already asleep when I wrote it!)

Walkin' With You

Walkin' with you
hand in hand
Your strong fingers in mine
Form an unbreakable band

Your lap is still
the perfect place to sit
I'm all done growing now
So I think I'll always fit

I'll always be your little girl
Your princess, little bear.
You always do what's best for me,
showing me loving care.

Someday, daddy,
when I look for my prince,
I'll be thinking of you,
Thankful for your significance.

Walkin' with you
hand in hand
You will give me away
To some wonderful man

When you hand me off
I hope you'll be proud
Proud of who I am
Proud of me as I take that vow.

Thanks for being you,
A Godly man, husband, father.
Thanks for loving me,
and growing me further.

I love you Dad!!!

Molly

Sweet Book

For all of you ladies who love stories of purity, and saving your first kiss for marriage, I found this sweet book the other day and I recommend it! It's actually a children's book but I found that even so, it sums up my heart!!!

It's called "The Princess and the Kiss" by Jennie Bishop. Here's the summary:

"A loving king and queen present their daughter with a gift from God, her first kiss, to keep or to give away. The wise girl waits for the man who is worthy of her precious gift. Where is he and how will she ever find him? The surprising answer in this marvelous parable will touch the heart of parent and child alike."

It was just really sweet and I plan on keeping it on my bookshelf and giving it to my little girl someday. Meanwhile, I'm sure I will pull it out once in awhile to remind myself of this treasure, because i still have several years still of guarding my "precious gift."

Fireproof

My mom and I went to go see Fireproof on Friday night. It was a wonderful movie and I cried several times throughout the movie. It just had such incredible lessons, and such a beautiful story about marriage (how ironic that was the topic, since that's been on my mind recently!). I don't want to give anything away!!! But it was just SO GOOD! :) I would definitely recommend it. If someone needs somebody to go to it with I'll go again lol.

Proverbs 31 Wife

I spent some time surfing blogs tonight while we were watching a movie and I found myself at several blogs of mothers who had posted/commented/highlighted Proverbs 31 as their "theme verse." I also saw a couple of blogs of girls my age who said in their profile that they wanted to be a "Proverbs 31 wife." I thought that was so cool and I was so encouraged to find other girls like me who already are striving to become Godly women that we might serve our husbands well (whenever that stage of life happens!). It's hard to sum up all of my thoughts on this topic and I know that since I'm not married I really am clueless lol. And yes, I know I'm only 17. I have no idea if I really ever will get married. Yes, I know that marriage isn't everything. Yes I know that it's one of the hardest things ever. BUT it is also one of God's highest callings, something He started way back in the Garden of Eden. So anyways, I did write a poem, trying to express myself. It doesn't even begin to do the job but.... it's something!!1

Proverbs 31 Wife

This calling God gives, to be a mother and wife
My heart hopes and longs that this may be my life

I pray that I'll be all he wants in a wife

That I'll comfort, respect him even in the midst of strife

Though it feels far away, my teen years are nearly over
I have so much to learn to be the woman I hope for

With God's help may I be this “wife of noble character”
One who is faithful, loving, and a very hardworker

A woman whose words are gentle and quiet
A mother who teaches her children with wisdom

May my arms be wide open to welcome the orphans
That Christ's love might be shown through the beauty of adoption

I look to this Scripture and pray it will guide
My prayers to the Savior, in whom I will confide

My prayers, hopes, and dreams for that season of life
Where God calls me to marriage, to be a Godly wife.

Molly 11/27/08

Beautiful Love

>"22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
Ephesians 5:22-32

Tonight at Bible study we had a great discussion on marriage out of Ephesians. I came home and really felt the Lord inspiring me to write in response. The talk of marriage always excites me and I really love how Paul describes it as a "profound mystery." Because I don't get it lol. But I do know that, when built on Christ, it can be beautiful and amazing. I LOVE seeing couples, specifically ones who have been married for awhile, walking and holding hands. That, to me, is just a precious example of a marriage that has stayed strong through the years. That they have chosen to stand strong and lean on eachother and God. I know this may not be true but that's what I always think of when I see people like that. Anyway, here's the poem I wrote. May it bring glory to God, because He is truly the author of these. I'm merely the "communicator" of His whisperings of the poem in my heart.
So... here it is!

Beautiful Love

It’s a beautiful image
Just like God and His Son
Displayed in a man and a woman
Who are united as one.

Those sacred vows bind
Their bodies and hearts
No other love may they find,
Never till death do they part.

The cry of her heart
Is met by this man
To be affirmed, loved
Just as written in God’s plan

She submits to her husband
And trusts in his care
That his judgement is good
That he’s sought God in prayer.

They trek up the mountains
Help one another through
They walk down in deep valleys
They stay steadfast and true

Through the thick and the thin
Lots of smiles and tears
Through the cycles of sin
They grow old through the years

With children a plenty
And gray hairs to show
They walk hand in hand
The path of life they well know.

He turns to his wife
And he still can find beauty
Her face full of life
Her heart devoted to him fully.

“I love you”, he says
And she ponders the words
45 years of wedded bliss
Is rarely ever heard.

“It wasn’t easy, my darling,
But I’ve loved every minute.
Your love has changed me forever,
I’ll never regret this commitment.”

May the beauty of marriage
Never be lost in this world
May the value of a kiss
Not be cheaply sold.

This profound mystery,
This creation of God
Is not meant to be forgotten
But held high by everyone.

As we look forward to marriage
To that season of life,
Look at the beauty in the Bible
Of God’s plan for husband and wife!

11/20/08
Molly

Makes Me Wonder...

So, as all of you know, I'm an adoption blog addict. Yep. That's me. Can't keep myself away from reading about these families as they grow through adoption. Watching them carry out the most beautiful form of love and grace to a child in need. Seeing the first moment they meet their child. Hearing their stories. I LOVE it, take it all in. And it makes me wonder... what does God have in store?? Does He have a moment planned out like this for me:

Will I get to see my husband reach to hold our daughter for the first time??? Will I even get married? lol

I sure hope so. But God's will is hidden from our eyes, forcing us to trust Him, that what He has in store for us is perfect. And, it makes me focus on this chapter of my life as well. I have to finish this before I can move onto the next one! So as I dream and wait I'm trying to embrace the season He has put me in even though my heart longs to be somewhere else! I know that He has lessons for me here and now!!

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Precious

Tonight I went to a baby shower for a couple in our church, Tyler and Michelle. They are both really sweet and it seems like yesterday that I attended their wedding shower! Halfway through the shower, right before Michelle started opening gifts, they said that they had a "surprise" for her. In walked Tyler, absolutely BEAMING! I think my favorite part of the whole night was watching this daddy-to-be smile non-stop and lovingly gaze at his wife. It was so sweet. It made me smile to see a couple like that who, through Jesus, have formed a beautiful Christ-centered marriage, and they are now ready to raise up a little one! How cool is that?!! As I sat and watched them I couldn't help but think that this is what marriage is supposed to look like. I'm so thankful that God has put so many Godly couples in my life for me to watch! Someday hopefully I'll be able to put it into practice! :)

True Beauty

Our pastor spoke about wives and husbands today at church. It was a very good sermon, in my opinoin. Of course, I have zero experience in marriage (or dating for that matter!) but it sounded good to me. And, to my surprise, when he talked about how a wife thrives on the love, praise and security a husband should give, I totally understood what he was saying and could identify with that in my own heart. And when he talked about how a wife should treat her husband with respect and submit to him I realized alot of it can be put into practice with my relationship with my dad. Anyway, our opening scripture was found in 1 Peter.

"..... they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."
1 Peter 3:1b-5b

I guess I'd never paid attention to these verses before! But when I read them this morning they ministered to my heart. Our culture focuses SO MUCH on things that will make us look more beautiful, more appealing. And we listen!! We go and buy the latest trends, get the newest makeup, have our hair styled the new way. I'm not saying this is wrong. However, speaking for myself, I forget that it's not all about how I look, it's about what's inside. I wouldn't want someone to like me just because of my appearance anyway. Jesus loves me because of who I am on the inside. He looks at me when I wake up in the morning with dark eyes, disheveled hair, and baggy pajamas and he says, "You are beautiful! I love you because of your heart not for your appearance."

It says in the last verse that "this is how the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." They focused on their attitude, their spirit, their hearts. They trusted that God would bring them a husband who would look past their faces and into their hearts. Why can't I do that? Is it pride? Am I too scared that I will be rejected by people if my outward appearance isn't beautiful enough? Why do we spend more time trying to impress the people of this world than we do on our hearts? The One who has shown the greatest love deserves our attention, not the mirror!! Our inner beauty is of great worth to God and I think I need to focus a little more on that. I want to be the wife someday who has the "unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit," "noble character (proverbs 12)," "a wife who is hardworking, compassionate, has strength and dignity, full of laughter, wise with faithful instruction on the tongue, and who fears the Lord." (majorly summarized Proverbs 31:10-31)

Khalil Gibran, (1883 - 1931)
Beauty is not in the face;
beauty is a light in the heart.

Ivan Panin
For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it.
For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.

Sophia Loren
Beauty is how you feel inside,
and it reflects in your eyes.
It is not something physical.