365 days

365 days ago, I recieved word that this little girl would be transferred to a government orphanage in Guatemala.

I recieved word that her case had been terminated. A judge had deemed her unadoptable.

I was crushed. I was angry. I was bitter. How could one person completely take away a child's chances of having a family? And quite honestly, I still don't understand.

I've been pondering her journey this week. Pondering just how great the gift she has been to me. Pondering just how much Guatemala has changed me. Pondering just how faithful God has been.

And so 365 days later, June 24, 2010 (i'm writing this a day early because I won't have time tommorow!), Claudia is still at the private, Christian orphanage where she is dearly loved. Thanks be to God! He SAVED her from a judge's ruling.

That month prior to her case being terminated, I really thought that we were going to be able to adopt this little girl. I wrote her a few letters, a journal of sorts, more for my sake than hers. Looking back over them this week, I was reminded again of how much I clung to the song Mighty to Save. That has always been my song for her, and whenever I sing or hear it, I pray for her. I always feel a twinge of disappointment when I hear it, though, because I had been praying that song for her that she might be saved from the bonds of paperworks and court cases and into our home. And I felt that the Lord had answered no. However, I now realize He answered my prayers IN FULL. He saved her from the government orphanage. He placed His wings over her and kept her in a place where she is hearing words of Truth and recieving Christian care. He may not have saved her in a way that I wanted, but He definitely came through, just as our God does.

In 31 days, my dad and I will be getting on a plane to fly down to Guatemala to work at her orphanage. My heart is a mess of emotions. As we've approached this one year mark of Claudia staying at the orphanage I have been absolutely gripped with fear. I am so scared that we will get down there and she will not be there. And I'm not sure that I could handle it. As of right now, we are sure that she has not been moved. But the orphanage just lost a little boy back to his birth family last week, so court cases are still moving regardless of the adoption status in Guatemala.

So I write this with a humble and anxious heart asking that you would join me in prayer. Would you please pray with me that this precious girl stays at the privately-run orphanage she's at now? And, though I feel selfish asking, would you please pray that the Lord would calm my heart and give me strength for whatever we face on this upcoming trip. I know that the Enemy is just whispering lies in my ears. Going to a foreign country and serving the orphan is a POWERFUL experience, and he would love for fear of the unknown to grip my heart. I know, though, that with HIS power and strength, I can overcome.

Thank you all for your prayers and for reading! :)

Thank you Jesus for a full year of care for this little girl, and for an opportunity to go to my favorite place in the world and hug her again!