Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Finding my rollerblades...
Seeing the beautiful blooms come up from the ground. The promise of spring- that after the dead heaviness of winter, life will spring forth. I LOVE that. It turns me back to Christ and His redemptive power everytime. Praise you Jesus!
Climbing trees with Caleb.. (notice he's MUCH higher than me in the tree lol)Jumping on the trampoline with the brothers...
Taking out all the winter clothes from my closet. Oh, and wearing my favorite springy shirt.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations;
For great is your love, higher than the heavens;
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens,
1. I'm thankful for our God. How great is our God?!! More amazing, loving, faithful, compassionate, and merciful than I can EVER express. I have rested in His timing and His plan this week. Here's a couple verses I have
"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."
Philippians 1:6 The Message
"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."
This scripture nearly brings me to tears. God, who keeps His promises, gives such great hope! Oh yes, Lord, your plan is beautiful. It most certainly will be different than what I want but you know what is best- for me and for your people. And you will be glorified through it all. I cannot wait to see what you have for the future.
2. I am so thankful for all of the sweet people God has placed in my life (and some of them are you bloggy friends)!! As I walked through those emotional days after my trip I had so many people who were there for me, to listen to my heart. Now I am refreshed and ready to return the blessings!
3. I am thankful for the GORGEOUS weather we have had!! I've taken lots of long prayer walks outside with my dog. And I love being able to drive with the windows down and feel the breeze! :)
4. I am thankful the weekend is almost here! I'm looking forward to some downtime.
5. I am thankful for my wonderful job and coworkers. One of them just got into nursing school yesterday so I made a cake and am going to go buy a balloon and we'll surprise her this afternoon with a "Congratulations" party. :)
6. I look around my house and am just overwhelmed by everything that we have. It's so elaborate compared to the homes I saw last week. My list would be a mile long if I started listing off all of those blessings.
I hope you all are having a wonderful Thursday- we have MUCH to be thankful for.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I met with a sweet friend Alyssa, who has been to several orphanages and has an amazing heart for the orphans. Talking with her brought alot of closure for me today. I can still cry for this country, these children, and the deep ache in my heart to return but I have a new peace in being here. I'd been struggling with WHY am I HERE? Why am I not THERE where kids need love? Where these precious Guatemalan people are hurting and need to hear the precious message of our Lord (Americans do too, I just have such a heart for these people). I miss everything about that country so badly. I miss the people, I miss the challenge of speaking in Spanish, I miss my girl, I long to kiss the faces of the children one more time, and tell them they are loved. But God has brought me back here. Hopefully only for a season, but nonetheless, I am here. So, I walked in the door feeling refreshed. I'm still overwhelmed with life, still trying to understand all that God showed me last week, but ready to tackle the tasks set before me. If I grieve forever, I can't succeed in the jobs I have here, and I won't ever be able to go back. Here's a poem I wrote this morning, perhaps it will sum up what I feel right now? I'm sitting in my house but homesick for the beautiful country that has stolen my heart.
Another piece of my heart was left there that day
As I took my last glimpse and then turned away.
I just ache for that place, how I long to return there
I miss everything about it, as I whisper my prayers.
It's been hard coming back, after a week that was so full .
I just can't describe it, it's been terribly painful.
But I've drawn close to the Lord, in the midst of my sorrow,
He has given me joy, and hope for tommorow.
Though I may feel quite homesick for that country of my heart,
I know that my Savior has had a plan from the start.
He has placed me in this town, this family, this moment.
And He's asking me to follow, and be His servant.
While I long to jump on a plane- go serve more of the orphans
He has asked me to stay, to follow only His plan.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
This trip is also very tough. I feel like I'm repeating myself alot and I apologize. I'm doing my best to express what we see and what God is showing me. But, as I've said before, it is just incredibly hard for me to see these orphans. It breaks my heart. Yet, at the same time, this work makes my heart sing. I LOVE giving these kids hugs and kisses and showing them love. They are DESPERATE for attention. I had a little boy climb out of his highchair to get to me when I walked in the door (I'm holding him in the pic above- he's become very attached to me). This little guy is very needy and he needs a mommy SO badly. He will wrap his little arms around my neck and put his face up next to mine until he feels secure and certain that I'm not going to put him down. This makes me feel broken, yet my passion is for these children and I love being able to comfort and love on them.
All of that to say I feel overwhelmed. I wrote this poem tonight in an effort to express the emotions that are storming in my heart as I think about this week, this country, and these children.
Storm in My Heart
Emotional overload, there's so much to feel.
Such joy and sorrow, this all seems surreal.
When I look at their faces, some are so sad.
Their eyes are so empty, their hearts are not glad.
So needy for attention, so desperate for love
I long for them to know, their Father from above.
My heart is just breaking, their pain is so great
O Lord save these orphans, and make them not wait.
While I'm filled with their grief, I have also found joy
In the hugs and the kisses of precious girls and boys.
I feel complete in this place, feel I'm making a difference
My burden feels lighter, as I follow God in obedience.
In those moments my heart, cannot help but sing.
Oh, Lord, this life, is an emotional thing.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I started the first 2 lines of this poem and God just wrote the rest.
Overwhelmed with emotion
My words just won't flow
Struck by more sadness
Than I wanted to know
Enchanted by children
Who have stolen my heart
Amazed at God's plan
From the very start
How can I feel
and what can I do
Such incredible need
O Lord I want to..
Help these precious orphans
Serving the hurting Guatemalans
Be a tool that You use
Spread your Truth to all men.
Lord you've grown in my heart
This passion and burden
Please show me what's next
For I am so uncertain
So maybe this is a little window to my heart. Happy, sad, in awe of God, hopeful, praying that God would show me what He has for me after this, confused as to how to respond to this country, the people, the orphans, the dire need in the world. And, SO thankful that I'm here and that God has given me the incredible gift of this trip.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Tommorow marks a new chapter
In a journey that is not my own
Has set on our paths to take
This journey will make my heart break
Are children of every size
I'm still haunted by their cries
What idols will You strip away?
For this journey I surrender and wait.
I woke up with a sore throat on Monday and groaned. How could I be getting sick 5 days before Guatemala??!!! I started taking a bunch of cold medicines and getting more sleep than usual. It is now Thursday, the day before we leave, and I have just a small cough and a drippy nose. My sore throat is completely gone- and I've had basically full energy this week, allowing me to pack. I'm praising God for this and trusting that He will restore me completely in the next few days! He is the Great Physician.
Throughout the week I've gotten several emails, facebook messages, and conversations in which so many people have said they have been/are praying for our trip this week. I'm SO THANKFUL for you sweet prayer warriors!! THANK YOU THANK YOU! God gave me a great and precious gift when He gave me all of you!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
So... I thought I'd highlight some of his points for my benefit as well as anyone else who would be interested.
1. God Ordains Prayer
The greatest of Christians, the ones whose lives bore great fruit also spent much time in prayer. George Mueller (a huge advocate for the orphans) said, "I know my God, and my God knows me." Through prayer, He grew to know God on a deep level, and the Lord blessed that! God ordains prayer, it is a gift to us, that we can come to Him and just talk.
Pastor Bob also made a really good statement that I liked, "A beautiful, honorable man or woman is not formed in 1/2 hour. It takes a lifetime of prayer and seeking God."
2. God Motivates Prayer
The motive for our prayer is for God to be glorified. If we make God the object in our prayer, then our motive is for Him to be glorified. I am continually asking myself if I am seeking God in prayer or just seeking my own desires. There is definitely a difference and I fall into the pothole of selfishly praying far too often.
3. God Answers Prayer
God answers EVERY prayer. Does He answer them the way we want to? Absolutely not. Does He answer them that He might be glorified? YES. And the most beautiful thing is that we have done NOTHING for our God to answer prayers. We have done nothing that our God would turn His ear to our pleas. But He does. Because of His great mercy. This mercy that He gives freely, that's new every morning!
"We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy."
In the past month God has been teaching me to pray with faith and expectancy. It is hard sometimes, but the least we can do is pray believing that God can and will answer in a way that will bring Him glory. As I've prayed for our friends the Semlows' adoption I've prayed for MIRACLES. As I've prayed for my trip to Guatemala I have been trying hard to pray for BIG things- things that only GOD in His mighty power to do. And trust that our God can and will answer in BIG ways. As soon as I started praying in that way the enemy whispered doubts and lies in my ear and I've had to learn to fight this- with more prayer!! God has shown Himself to us time and again so why do I have such unbelief and doubt?!
So as I continue on in my day I trust that my feeble prayers coming from my unrighteous heart are reaching the ears of the Almighty. And that He has heard and will answer in His time in His own way- to be glorified.