Monday, March 9, 2009

Storm in My Heart

This trip is amazing. I cannot express to our God how thankful I am that He has given me this opportunity to serve these children and this country, as well as spend some special time with my dad and brother.

This trip is also very tough. I feel like I'm repeating myself alot and I apologize. I'm doing my best to express what we see and what God is showing me. But, as I've said before, it is just incredibly hard for me to see these orphans. It breaks my heart. Yet, at the same time, this work makes my heart sing. I LOVE giving these kids hugs and kisses and showing them love. They are DESPERATE for attention. I had a little boy climb out of his highchair to get to me when I walked in the door (I'm holding him in the pic above- he's become very attached to me). This little guy is very needy and he needs a mommy SO badly. He will wrap his little arms around my neck and put his face up next to mine until he feels secure and certain that I'm not going to put him down. This makes me feel broken, yet my passion is for these children and I love being able to comfort and love on them.

All of that to say I feel overwhelmed. I wrote this poem tonight in an effort to express the emotions that are storming in my heart as I think about this week, this country, and these children.

Storm in My Heart

Emotional overload, there's so much to feel.
Such joy and sorrow, this all seems surreal.

When I look at their faces, some are so sad.
Their eyes are so empty, their hearts are not glad.

So needy for attention, so desperate for love
I long for them to know, their Father from above.

My heart is just breaking, their pain is so great
O Lord save these orphans, and make them not wait.

While I'm filled with their grief, I have also found joy
In the hugs and the kisses of precious girls and boys.

I feel complete in this place, feel I'm making a difference
My burden feels lighter, as I follow God in obedience.

In those moments my heart, cannot help but sing.
Oh, Lord, this life, is an emotional thing.



Irene said...

Molly, I just found your blog and spent the morning crying and soaking it all in. I am in awe of what God is doing in you and through you. I love, love, love your heart for the orphans. You are amazing! I love your poems - so heartfelt. I am praying for the rest of your journey. Now that I found this, I will be waiting anxiously for your next posts. God bless you all!!

Sharon said...

I love your poems, you really help me to understand what God is teaching you through them.

I just had a random thought when I was reading this post. Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a group of people who when around the world to different orphanages just to love on an show these kids attention, and that was their job! That way they could give the children the love that they need. But I guess that is what you and others are basically doing.

juliethomas said...

Molly, I wrote you a comment and then lost it somehow! Only I could do that.....but I don't find that it went to you, so must be lost in cyberspace! ....this poem and all of your entries so touched my heart...You have so many gifts. Not the least of which is your tender, compassionate, huge heart....tell Caleb I can see the love in his eyes and know he's loving lovin on these kids too! I will pray that God uses every encounter, every day fully to show you the things you so desire to know re: His will for your life, both short range and long term. We love you. Be safe. p.s. keep your dad safe, for your mom's sake, okay? thanks....julie

Christie L. said...

Dear Molly,
Laura sat and read through your blog, and then she came and found me with wide eyes. "I just read Molly's blog..." she said. After we talked for a few minutes, tears started streaming down her face. Your stories really opened her eyes to some of what she might experience when we go to Guatemala in June with the church. Thank you for helping prepare the way for Laura. God is using your blog!

Melinda said...

Molly, that little boy desperate for a mommy just breaks my heart. So glad you can love on him while you're there. Praying with you for Guatemala to open adoptions again. We'll be first in line to bring a little one home.