248 Days

In 248 days, I will be a wife. Sometimes, it seems like it's coming so soon, and other days it feels like forever away. Today it seems so far off. Yet I'm thankful for this season of preparation, of patience, of intentionality as we grow closer while still balancing life and school. I could not be more blessed to be the girl in these pictures. I still look at them and marvel at what God has done.
I love you, Spencer, and I can't wait for June 2! :)

Thanks to Leigh Ann Smart for doing these gorgeous pictures!

Reminded....

These pictures popped up on Facebook yesterday and my breath caught in my throat. 

Sometimes, Guatemala and Eagle's Nest seem like a different life ago, a different world. But it's not. Those sweet kids are still there, waiting.
We must keep fighting for them, praying for them, adopting them.
The Lord will not leave them as orphans, but we're a huge part of making sure that promise is true for them in this life!

On Poverty

According to my Nutrition class textbook:
Malnutrition- a state of health that occurs when the body is improperly nourished.
This can be in the form of undernutrition and overnutrition.

I'm in a basic Nutrition class for my Health Studies minor, and I am absolutely loving it. I have dreamed of getting married and running my own home, budgeting for groceries, and cooking healthy meals for my family for years- and now it's actually happening! So that has put an even greater purpose in this class. I have also had the idea of teaching Nutrition classes in Spanish someday, so that makes me excited as well.

However, as I listen and take notes on what we should and shouldn't eat, what makes a balanced diet, how many grams of protein we need, my head and my heart keep wandering. They wander to the children in Africa who are starving, they wander to the children at the Manna feeding program at Eagle's Nest in Guatemala, I think about the mommas in Haiti whose children die if the mothers aren't properly nourished enough to provide breastmilk. Thousands upon millions of people didn't eat at all today. And here I am, learning about how I should best feed myself so I don't get fat or get heart disease.

So in the past week, my heart has been torn. I'm torn between the passion I have to take care of my body, and later the bodies of my family. I want to cook wholesome foods, and eat in a way that preserves my health for the furthering of the Kingdom. Yet the other part of me is crying inside for the poor and the needy. As cliche as that phrase is, we MUST realize that this is real. 14% of the people in our country alone are concerned about where their next meal is coming from. At the same time, we have people who are sitting at their kitchen tables eating cheap potato chips, and children with nothing but skin and bones in Africa eating the skin of a potato as their only food for the day.

It's in these moments that I hate inequality. I despise injustice. I cringe at the trays of food poured into the garbage every night in my own cafeteria. My stomach turns as I fill myself with fresh fruits and vegetables, remembering that there are those who go with nothing but garbage gleaned from the streets. Why, Lord?

In the midst of my troubled heart, I'm trying to focus on the fact that God is sovereign, and that for some reason, He has placed me in a place of plenty. He has placed me in a class where we discuss good nutrition, that I might take this knowledge and use it for His glory. Perhaps I will adopt a malnourished child, perhaps I will manage an orphanage, perhaps I will teach nutrition classes to those who don't know how to provide wholesome meals to their families. I don't know, but I'm trusting that our God does know. So I rejoice in the blessings, and thank Him for His provision, determined not to waste even a minute.

Goin' deep....

I've been writing this post in my head for several days now, and it will definitely take several days to catch up on my writing based on my limited amount of free time (I miss writing so much- hoping to get back to a blogging schedule here soon!). But anyway, as I've mulled this post over in my head, I keep going back to the Steven Curtis Chapman song from Jr. High Dive.

You all remember it, don't you? "I'm divin' in, I'm goin' deep, in over my head I wanna be, caught in the rush, washed in the flow, in over my head I wanna go. The river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive, so sink or swim...I'm divin' in!" It's definitely not the most theologically, gospel-rich song. BUT- it was a blast to sing in Jr. high, and I feel like it's a good way to describe life right now.

I finished my first full week of school last week, and I was definitely "goin' deep" so to speak. I'm taking 16 credit hours, all of which are fairly tough classes. My Spanish class is entirely in, well, Spanish, which isn't surprising. My heart was a mess walking into the classroom, and I was so afraid of how inadequate and unprepared I would find myself. Instead, the Lord in all His goodness chose to do the exact opposite, and I walked out of class that day with HOPE and a JOYful heart. My campus ministry community has fallen back into the rhythm of fellowship, and I found myself having deep, stretching, challenging, growing, and encouraging conversations within the first few days. Sweet times of prayer with dear friends have set a theme for the year. We are hungry for more of the Lord, and we are ready to dig deep. To go deep into the Word, to go deep into our hearts as the Spirit challenges and convicts, to go deep into the lives of others, to go deep into continuing the ministry that Jesus started 2,000 years ago.