Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you awesome moms out there!

Our family had a great day at my aunt and uncle's house, filled with good food and relaxing outside (i'll post pics of that tommorow hopefully).

As we drove home from my aunt's house I watched this sunset the whole way home, thought about my day, listened to worship music, and attempted to sort out all of my thoughts from the day:

This was kind of a different Mother's Day for me. I have been very contemplative and reflective all day. I will attempt to write it all out. It might make sense and it might not but either way it will do me good to sort out my thoughts. Writing always does!

First of all, I'm so thankful for my mama! I have definitely been blessed with a mommy who loves, cares for, supports, and listens. She knows me best and reads me like a book. She has encouraged me in my passions and dreams and continues to do so as I make more plans for the future. I love you Mom!!

Right after I'd gotten dressed up for church, did my hair and makeup, etc. I sat down to do a quick email check before leaving. I opened my Google Reader (the best invention for blog readers EVER lol) and saw that our friends the Arnolds had posted. A year ago today, they got their precious Libi in China. Mrs. Arnold's post was so sweet and it just made me cry. Seeing how far Libi has come in the past year is amazing. God has been so gracious. Sweet Libi Faith has a forever family and the best mommy. And very soon, her big sister Haddie Hope will come home to this same family, and will be wrapped up in the arms of this special mommy. Praise God for bring the orphans home!

Our friends the Semlows left for Ethiopia on Wednesday and it has been incredible watching their family's journey to get their 3 precious children. Today, on Mother's Day, they met their kids for the first time. 3 orphans met their new mommy and daddy for the first time. They will forever more celebrate Mothers Day with their 5 other siblings.

So many miracles on Mothers Day. My heart leaped for joy and delight at the blessings from the Lord. Yet I couldn't help but have a heavy heart at the same time. I am alway so ambivolent!! Happy at some things, yet broken over other things. All at the same time.

I thought of the little girl who has stolen my heart. When I was there in March she called me her "mama." My sweet Claudia is in Guatemala still. Without a mommy. That sentence just breaks my heart. Need I say anymore?

And thinking of her makes me think of all the others. The millions of children who have no woman to call mommy. Nobody to painstakingly scribble a card to. No mom who will squeal with delight at their littlest of victories. No mommy to tuck them in tight at night. No mommy to rock them to sleep. Sometimes these thoughts are all too much for me to bear. But this is the reality of our world. This is the pain of the fall- that there are children left without the nurturing touch of a mother. And this is not how God intended it to be. But as I grieve for these children, I know that what breaks my heart is breaking God's heart. When tears fall as my heart breaks, there are tears rolling down the cheeks of the Father's as well.

So I watched the sun dip lower and lower in the sky, until all I could see was the pink glow above the trees. I thought of our dear friends who would just be waking up to that rosy orange sun in Ethiopia. I thought of Haddie Hope who would be rolling out of bed, waiting another day for her mommy and daddy to come get her. I thought of all of the children and prayed. I prayed for the mother of my future children, if the Lord chooses to allow me to adopt. She is probably walking around somewhere. I prayed for my future, and where the Lord might lead me. My heart SO LONGS to DO. GO. HELP. There's so many options. So many possibilities. So much need. But I have one BIG God who has a BIG plan. And I'm trusting in Him to show me the way. The sun can go down and close this Mother's Day and I know that it will rise once again tommorow in all it's radiant beauty, bringing the hope and joy of a new day. My heart is burdened but is steadfast, anchored in the firm foundation of the Lord. I'm trusting my God for today, tommorow, and forever. Maybe someday I'll be able to make a difference. And give a child a mommy.

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 29:11-13