Reckless Faith

I read this book over Thanksgiving break and I definitely recommend adding it to a "to-read" list. It's written by Beth Guckenberger, an American wife and mom who did missions with her family in Mexico (and maybe still does?). This book doesn't have alot of profound statements or revolutionary ideas. It's simple stories of life in a foreign country living out James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in distress..." It's simple stories of living out this verse everyday in real life. They weren't missionaries associated with a huge organization. They started out with a couple mission trips to orphanages and felt God's call to care for the fatherless. So they did. One step at a time, one child at a time, one heart at a time.

And along the way, they saw God's hand work in amazing ways. Small? Sometimes. But amazing nonetheless. They learned lessons, cried tears, and rejoiced in the victories of those who they helped.

Reading her story was a breath of fresh air, and encouragement to see the life of someone who didn't change the world but changed the world of one child/person at a time. As I was reading I thought to myself how I hope one day I'll have a book like this. Little lessons along the journey of serving the least of these- the most precious in the eyes of the Father.

Rethinking Short-term Missions

I read this post yesterday and was very challenged which has brought me to alot of thought.

I remember flying home from Guatemala this past summer with my dad just trying to debrief everything that God had shown me. Alot of my visions for the future and opinions i'd once supported strongly were being swayed and it was alot to take in. We were talking about the kids at Eagle's Nest, and how while we were there, 5 different missions groups came in. 5. In one week. That was like 100 different people coming into these kids lives. And 100 people leaving these kids lives on the same day. They all came in, hugged them, kissed them, told them how much they were loved. But then they left.

I watched Claudia attach to different people everyday. I wasn't her favorite anymore and it broke my heart. This was by far the most painful part of the trip, but it was also the most influential. I realized that while each and every one of those people (including my dad and I) were there out of the desire of our hearts to love the orphans and show Christ's love to the people of Guatemala, damage was being done to the hearts of these precious kids. They were being taught to attach and then pull away everyday, and that's just not healthy. They identify themselves with one "community" and then when they're gone they find another one.

Now- I am NOT saying that short-term mission trips are bad. Not at all. God uses mission trips to grow in our hearts a passion for His people, and Lord-willing this will manifest itself into lifelong service, not just a week. Will I still go on a short-term mission trip? Yes. Even back to Eagle's Nest? Yes. I am not advocating the Church to completely eradicate short-term missions. They're a pivotal part of furthering the Kingdom.

However, I think that this post just reminded me of the need for us to evaluate our mindset in missions. It is WAY more fun to go travel to a country and hold babies. Trust me, my arms ache to go back. BUT, when we think of these kids...would it be better to put the money towards another native nanny that could become a "mommy" to the orphans instead of us Americans coming in for a week and playing that role?

My dad and I were still discussing this on the airplane back home from Guatemala. Finally, I said, "We don't need people on mission trips. We need people to come in and adopt these children and give them forever families!" This would completely take care of the attachment issues with mission trips- there wouldn't be children to go get attached to because they'd be living right in your own town! Granted, there are some countries that don't allow adoption. But if the Church would join together and make it our goal to adopt these children then we wouldn't have orphans to visit after all. We could support eachother in our adoptions and the care of these children.

Sighh...i'll get off my soapbox now! Aren't you glad I have Spanish class in 10 minutes?! :) But...this is definitely something to ponder. And I'm excited to read the book mentioned in the post (When Helping Hurts: How to alleviate poverty without hurting the poor and yourself)

Blessings,
Molly

Irresistable

This girl is irresistable. And I am SO jealous that bunny is getting kisses and not me!!

My mentor and I are finishing up Captivating and this week's chapter was on mothers and daughters. Eldredge says, "As large as the role is that our mothers have played, the word "mother" is more powerful when used as a verb than a noun. All women are not mothers, but all women are called to mother. To mother is to nurture, to train, to educate, to rear. In doing this, women partner with Christ in the vital mission of bringing forth life.....We birth life in others by inviting them into deeper realms of healing, to deeper walks with God, to deeper intimacy with Jesus. A woman is not less of a woman because she is not a wife or has not physically born a child. The heart and life of a woman is much more vast than that."

The work book asked, "Who have you mothered? How??" One of the first people that came to mind was my little Claudia. Though I've spent only one month total with her out of her almost 7 years of life, I feel as though I have mothered this child in a way. I feel that way about all of the children at the orphanage. When I go in and hold their tiny bodies, sing to them, and pray over them I feel as though they are all children of my heart. But this little girl holds a very special place, and I'll always think of her as being someone who I invested in as a motherly role. I would give absolutely anything to hold her hands, kiss her cheeks, and hear her call me mama again. Maybe someday that will happen. But if not, despite all the heartbreak over this sweet girl, I am thankful for the days I had with her, to give her the love she so desperately desires.

It's Beautiful

by Eleventy Seven

I wish that You would tell me how

You know me well and want to be together

Fallen short and faded out

But You keep making gardens in this desert

Despite the grace that I dismissed

Forgiveness was the catalyst

To penetrate my heart with what is true

It's beautiful You can turn mistakes to miracles

The way that You still love me after all

It's beautiful

Redeem the years I've thrown away

I'm ready to make good on what I've wasted

I'm asking You to shape my heart

I want to be Your work of art

'Cause when You change me

And make me more like You

It's beautiful

You can turn mistakes to miracles

The way that You still love me after all

It's beautiful

I heard this song on the radio yesterday and I've kept thinking about it. I've been reading Prodigal God by Tim Kellar recently, and our High School Sunday School class has also been on this book the past few weeks. I realized that the two concepts kind of go together, so we'll see if I can turn my thoughts into coherent sentences! :)

While looking at the story of the prodigal son in Sunday School (this parable can be found in Luke 15), we saw that there are really 2 sons that make up this story. The younger son, who returns to his father after taking his inheritance early and wasting it, and the elder son, who faithfully works for his father year after year despite his younger brother's absence. If you read the story you'll find that each of the 2 sons struggle with different sins. The younger son outwardly disobeys. He selfishly takes the money early, leaving his brother and father to care for the farm, and spends all of it unwisely. He wanted things his way, in his time. At the end of the story we see him come back, humbly asking his father for forgiveness. Nearly everyother time I've read this story I haven't even thought about the older brother very much. This man faithfully works for his father, year after year. He is terribly angry with his dad when the younger brother was not only accepted back but welcomed back with great joy and celebration. The older brother was bitter towards his father for taking him back, and for expecting the remaining inheritance to again be split to accomodate the younger son. The older brother works for the ultimate reward of receiving his inheritance, and obeys solely to please his father, not out of love and devotion. After reading the story from this perspective, I realized that I am an "older brother!"

I've started looking at my heart and realize just how many times I obey because I want to be seen as a "good person," not because I desire to please the Lord. I realize how much I value significance in life. I want people to like me, admire me, and be impressed by me. I often turn have a "good works" perspective and when things don't work out in life I often wonder, 'What did I do to make this happen?' There's a little piece of me that won't let go control, won't accept the fact that I never have and never will do anything to make myself worthy of salvation. I am forgive and freed from all of these things BECAUSE Christ came and died for me! BECAUSE HE died for my sins, the Lord can do a beautiful work in my life and turn these mistakes to miracles. He can fulfill His purpose in me despite the fact that i am a prideful, self-righteous "older brother."

So after thinking of all these things, I heard the above song on the radio and I thought it summed up all my thoughts quite nicely. I am asking the Lord to shape my heart, because I do want to be His work of art. I want Him to delight in me, and I want to delight in obeying Him because I love Him with everything that's in me, not because I want to gain brownie points in someone's eyes. I know this will be a lifetime lesson and challenge, not something that I think about one day and achieve the next!! But that's the beauty of it, right? He knows that I won't get it after one day, and He's willing to extend me the grace and mercy as I work on it. I'm a piece of art, and I praise Him for the work He continues to do each and everyday.

The Waiting Child

Well, my heart has been broken into pieces once again. This time through a gripping, heartwrenching, yet hope-filled book called The Waiting Child by Cindy Champnella. We're at my aunt's house for a family reunion (yes i will post pics eventually... i'm so behind!) and so I'd brought this book along. The story absolutely captured me and stirred up so many memories and emotions. I've avoided reading any books on orphans because it just upsets me. But I'd decided I wanted to finish this one, and I am glad I did even though it made my heart actually hurt.

The story is of an American family who adopt this precious little girl, Jaclyn, from China. When they go, they discover that she has been caring for this tiny little boy at her orphanage. After returning home, she talks of him constantly. For years, at the age of 3, she pleads and cries out to God to bring "her baby," Lee, home to America. Before long her family has started to fall in love with this little boy and they pursue the adoption of him. The love that Jaclyn had for this little boy was absolutely beautiful. The ache in her heart, the numerous tears, the prayers cried out to God reminded me of mine for Claudia. The hole in Jaclyn's heart that could only be filled with her little boy reminded me of the ever-present hole that is waiting for my Guatemala girl. Jaclyn's family was faced with the discouraging news that Lee would likely not be available for adoption. God moved many mountains to eventually bring him home from China.

Jaclyn's unwavering faith that God would bring Lee home was an encouragement to me to keep praying and fighting for Claudia. Reading the happy story of his homecoming was almost too much to read, knowing that we may never get this with my sweet girl.

Reading the horrible stories of Jaclyn's time in the orphanage made the fire in my heart burn brighter for the plight of the orphans. Whenever my passion for it begins to dull, the Lord ALWAYS sends something my way to remind me. Remind me of reality. Remind me of these precious children. Remind me of my purpose. Remind me of His call for my life.

So thank you, Cindy Champnella, for sharing your sweet story of Jaclyn. It made me smile, cry, and wish I'd never read it. Yet I know it's these stories that change me for the better, so I'm thankful I read it.

Dangerous Surrender

I just finished one of the best books today. It is entitled "Dangerous Surrender: What Happens When You Say Yes to God" by Kay Warren. Wow what a book. It was so good.

God has taken Kay on an incredible journey these past few years. He broke her heart for people suffering with HIV/AIDS and, as she writes in her book, has been "gloriously ruined." It was so good to hear her insight and hear her story. I also felt like she articulated much of what was storming in my heart after my trip to Guatemala. This is a challenging yet encouraging book and definitely a call for Christians to rise up and minister- wherever God has placed us.

If you are going on a missions trip I highly recommend reading this book before you go. I wish that i had read this before ever going on a trip and I feel much more prepared spiritually and emotionally to go on another one. However, she applies this book to ministry of ALL sorts. Everyone will find gems in the chapters of this book.

Captured my Heart

I gave my heart away 11 years ago to Someone who loves me more than I can comprehend, who sacrificed more than I'll ever know so that He could have my heart forever. And you know what the best part is?? He will NEVER break it. He holds my heart tenderly, He sees to the very deepest part, He heals the broken parts. The lover of my soul, Jesus, has captured my heart.

In Isaiah 62:1-5 God writes (i added the italics):

For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet,
till her righteousness shines out like the dawn (until you shimmer),
her salvation like a blazing torch.
The nations will see your righteousness,
and all the kings your glory (your beauty);
you will be called by a new name
that the mouth of the Lord will bestow.
You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand (the crown of creation),
a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
No longer will they call you Deserted,
or name your land Desolate.
But you will be called Hephzibah (my delight is in her),
and your land Beulah (married);
for the Lord will take delight in you,
and your land will be married.
As a young man marries a maiden (he pursues her, romances her)...
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride (you are lovely),
so will your God rejoice over you.

Is that not beautiful??!! I read that today and was like, "Wow. That is so amazing." My mentor and I are still working through Captivating and this week's chapter was about the hatred that the Enemy has for women. Ladies, he fears us!! John and Stasi Eldredge say, "Satan has set against every woman from the day of her brith. It's the emotional and spiritual equivalent of leaving a little girl by the side of the road to die. And to every woman he has whispered, "You are alone, or, When they see who you really are, you will be alone, or, No one will ever truly come for you.... Satan is the one who has done these things to prevent your restoration. For this is what he fears. He fears who you are; what you are; what you might become. He fears your beauty and your life-giving heart." So let's FIGHT ladies!! Reading this made me want to reject all the world says about me. It made me want to stand up, be bold, and go unafraid into the world to achieve all that God has for me- reach my full potential.

So going back to the Scripture above- I hope that your heart is encouraged as mine was when I read this. What sweet promises our Savior gives. He delights in us, pursues us, romances us, loves us. Everything our heart longs for!! How amazing. How great is our God and worthy to be praised. So take heart, beauties. We have a lover who will fight for us. We have a lover who believes without a shadow of a doubt that we are beautiful- even when we can't see it in ourselves. Let's rise up in the strength of our God and reach the full potential that He has for us. We can find victory through Him.

Captivating

"The desire to be beautiful, to have a beauty all our own to unveil is not primarily about our looks. It is a desire to be captivating in the depths of who we are."
Captivating by Stasi Eldgredge

"This isn't about dresses and makeup. Beauty is so important that we'll come back to it again and again in this book. For now, don't you recognize that a woman yearns to be seen and to be thought of as captivating? We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil."
Captivating by Stasi Eldgredge

I've been reading the book Captivating with my mentor, Lisa the past couple of weeks. We're only on the second chapter but already I have found that this book is absolutely incredible, and ultimately a life/heart/attitude-changing book. I have wanted to blog about it for awhile now but I feel like I'm so personally/emotionally involved in it that I couldn't tell you all about it without emptying my heart onto the internet, which I don't want to do lol!!

So instead, I just want to encourage the women out there to read this book. It has helped me:
1. Identify lies that I have believed about myself, who I am, and who God made me to be.
2. Work through my feelings and try to bring about healing and truth.
3. Realize that my longings, dreams, and feelings were placed by God!!! He created the heart of a woman in such a unique way and I am not alone. I, along with hundreds of thousands of Christian women, experience the same battles I do.
4. Understand men better and see how God intended us to be!
5. Confirm the strong beliefs I have about guarding my heart, that it will be worth it in the end.

In the end, I pray that because of this book, I will see myself for who I truly am in God's eyes, and ultimately use that freedom and knowledge to grow and serve others better. I strongly encourage you to read this book and get the journal!! It helps SO much!

Blessings,
Molly

Sweet Book

For all of you ladies who love stories of purity, and saving your first kiss for marriage, I found this sweet book the other day and I recommend it! It's actually a children's book but I found that even so, it sums up my heart!!!

It's called "The Princess and the Kiss" by Jennie Bishop. Here's the summary:

"A loving king and queen present their daughter with a gift from God, her first kiss, to keep or to give away. The wise girl waits for the man who is worthy of her precious gift. Where is he and how will she ever find him? The surprising answer in this marvelous parable will touch the heart of parent and child alike."

It was just really sweet and I plan on keeping it on my bookshelf and giving it to my little girl someday. Meanwhile, I'm sure I will pull it out once in awhile to remind myself of this treasure, because i still have several years still of guarding my "precious gift."