My First Love

Although I am changing You’re unchangeable oh God
You will be my first love, be my first love
And for all the changes that You lead me through oh God
You will be my first love, be my first love

Every morning when the sun comes up
And every evening when the day is done
You will be my first love, be my first love
Even when You fill my heart’s desires
Even when You are consuming fire
You will be my first love, be my first love

Although I am shaken You’re unshakable oh God
You will be my first love, be my first love
So let my idols crumble You’re unshakable oh God
You will be my first love, be my first love

May every day and every way I live bring glory to You Lord. Be my first love

My new favorite song that fills my heart with utter joy, gladness, and hope.

Be blessed!

Molly

Like a River Glorious

Like a River Glorious > Lyrics Frances R. Havergal:
"Like a river glorious is God’s perfect peace,
Over all victorious, in its bright increase;
Perfect, yet it floweth fuller every day,
Perfect, yet it groweth deeper all the way.

Refrain:
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,
Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;
Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,
Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.

Every joy or trial falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love;
We may trust Him fully all for us to do;
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true."

I accompany our church's Jr. Choir every week. Each rehearsal, the director picks a hymn for the kids to sing. She has a book that tells the history of the song, and then we sing it together while I play. We've been focusing on the hymn, Like a River Glorious, the past week, and I have found it so incredibly fitting to my life right now. I have found my mind going back to it several times, pondering the words, and praising God for His peace that is like a river glorious.

His peace is perfect. Absolutely perfect. And it grows deeper every day. There are so many things in this world I look for to find peace and security: material possessions, money, family, friends, and even church. Yet here I have a perfect peace right in front of me. I need not search further than the Savior.

I love the phrase, "Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand." It was interesting to hear the kids' interpretations of this part of the song. We finally concluded that it was as though God was holding His hand in a fist, and we are nestled safely inside, completely protected from all harm. As the storms of life rage, the trials come, and I become anxious, I can rest in the fact that I am hidden in the hollow of His hand.

This last verse just hits my heart right where i need to be pricked. Trust. God has placed every joy and trial in our lives for a reason. The author of this hymn writes, "those who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true." I can trust God, and without a doubt, know that He is fully faithful to His promises to provide for me, and He has a plan for my life.

May His peace wash over your souls this week as you ponder these beautiful words....

It's Beautiful

by Eleventy Seven

I wish that You would tell me how

You know me well and want to be together

Fallen short and faded out

But You keep making gardens in this desert

Despite the grace that I dismissed

Forgiveness was the catalyst

To penetrate my heart with what is true

It's beautiful You can turn mistakes to miracles

The way that You still love me after all

It's beautiful

Redeem the years I've thrown away

I'm ready to make good on what I've wasted

I'm asking You to shape my heart

I want to be Your work of art

'Cause when You change me

And make me more like You

It's beautiful

You can turn mistakes to miracles

The way that You still love me after all

It's beautiful

I heard this song on the radio yesterday and I've kept thinking about it. I've been reading Prodigal God by Tim Kellar recently, and our High School Sunday School class has also been on this book the past few weeks. I realized that the two concepts kind of go together, so we'll see if I can turn my thoughts into coherent sentences! :)

While looking at the story of the prodigal son in Sunday School (this parable can be found in Luke 15), we saw that there are really 2 sons that make up this story. The younger son, who returns to his father after taking his inheritance early and wasting it, and the elder son, who faithfully works for his father year after year despite his younger brother's absence. If you read the story you'll find that each of the 2 sons struggle with different sins. The younger son outwardly disobeys. He selfishly takes the money early, leaving his brother and father to care for the farm, and spends all of it unwisely. He wanted things his way, in his time. At the end of the story we see him come back, humbly asking his father for forgiveness. Nearly everyother time I've read this story I haven't even thought about the older brother very much. This man faithfully works for his father, year after year. He is terribly angry with his dad when the younger brother was not only accepted back but welcomed back with great joy and celebration. The older brother was bitter towards his father for taking him back, and for expecting the remaining inheritance to again be split to accomodate the younger son. The older brother works for the ultimate reward of receiving his inheritance, and obeys solely to please his father, not out of love and devotion. After reading the story from this perspective, I realized that I am an "older brother!"

I've started looking at my heart and realize just how many times I obey because I want to be seen as a "good person," not because I desire to please the Lord. I realize how much I value significance in life. I want people to like me, admire me, and be impressed by me. I often turn have a "good works" perspective and when things don't work out in life I often wonder, 'What did I do to make this happen?' There's a little piece of me that won't let go control, won't accept the fact that I never have and never will do anything to make myself worthy of salvation. I am forgive and freed from all of these things BECAUSE Christ came and died for me! BECAUSE HE died for my sins, the Lord can do a beautiful work in my life and turn these mistakes to miracles. He can fulfill His purpose in me despite the fact that i am a prideful, self-righteous "older brother."

So after thinking of all these things, I heard the above song on the radio and I thought it summed up all my thoughts quite nicely. I am asking the Lord to shape my heart, because I do want to be His work of art. I want Him to delight in me, and I want to delight in obeying Him because I love Him with everything that's in me, not because I want to gain brownie points in someone's eyes. I know this will be a lifetime lesson and challenge, not something that I think about one day and achieve the next!! But that's the beauty of it, right? He knows that I won't get it after one day, and He's willing to extend me the grace and mercy as I work on it. I'm a piece of art, and I praise Him for the work He continues to do each and everyday.

Check it out...

I changed up all of the songs on the playlist with some really good ones that I had never heard before until recently or I'd forgotten about...... so if you don't have your volume up listen to some of the new tunes i've discovered and be encouraged! :)

Devotion

Devotion
by Hillsong United

Verse 1
I've been running, trying to be one who sees
I've been working salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
that we are redeemed
I'm believing, trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable:
I take up my cross and follow you Lord

Chorus
When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees

Verse 2
I'm forgiven; my Savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
I'm delivered, but it doesn't seem right
unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his life
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow you Lord

Bridge
I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go

I heard this song for the first time today and thought it was beautiful. The lyrics are so good. Our God is so amazing. I just can't even express it. He is truly indescribable and I am falling to my knees today when I consider all that He has done. I am redeemed, my sinful heart has been transformed to one of devotion, the lost have become chosen, I'm forgiven, I'm delivered. The tallest of trees and mountains bow to our God.

THIS is why I love my Savior. As the song says, there's only one thing to be alive for, and it's Christ. Everything else in this world leaves the soul feeling empty and needy. But He wants us to live life to the fullest- and He will fill us up with the joy of the Lord. Praise the Lord!!

Good Friday

It is Good Friday and there is so much to ponder. On this day, Jesus Christ made the greatest act of love that this world has ever known or will know. Never has there been a greater sacrifice. The Son of God hung on a cross- brutally scorned, mocked, spat on. When I think of the pain our Savior endured my pride is blown to the ground. It was my sin that He took upon His shoulders. But I am ever so thankful that He chose to love. He chose to die so that we may live. We will LIVE forever. Not because of ANYTHING we have done- ONLY because He died and paid the punishment for our sins. We will live eternally in heaven with God if we repent and except God's gift of eternal life, given by grace alone.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”- Romans 5:6-8

So today, I am mindful of and thankful for Jesus' amazing gift. As though I haven't given you enough to chew on....... here's a poem and 2 songs that have been running through my head.

The Greatest Gift of Love

As I think of this day, and my comfortable life
I can't help but imagine all the terrible strife
That sweet Jesus endured, and all for our gain.
For our gift of life, the Son of God was slain.

On that dark somber day our Christ Jesus was hung
On a cross made of wood, a victory won.
Each bitter thought was placed on his head
The price was paid- “It is finished,” he said.

I cannot comprehend this incredible act.
Such love we were shown, and we can't pay it back.
Undeserving, unappreciative, and selfish am I.
My heart breaks to think- for my sins did the Savior die.

On this day of rememberance, as we ponder it all.
May our hearts feel the grief, the results of the Fall.
May we see the great love that sweet Jesus has shown.

May the gift of salvation in this world be made known.

Molly 4/10/09

You all probably know this son but take a moment and ponder these wordsds:

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

And make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the Chosen One

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon his cross

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Are you moved? Touched? Do you know this Son of God who died?? Will you join me in Heaven someday?? My prayer for this blog is always that God would use it to turn hearts to Christ. On this Good Friday as we consider this incredible free gift, would you consider taking apart in it? If you have not accepted God's free gift of grace and salvation, please do not hesitate!!

Praying you have a memorable Easter weekend. We are heading to our Good Friday service and I'm looking forward to communing, fellowshiping, and worshiping together with the Body tonight.

Love you all,

Molly

Preparation

In exactly 2 weeks from now I will be in Guatemala. I have 13 more days until we leave our home to travel down there... and my heart is full. Full of hope and expectation, and, if I'm honest, full of fear. I am scared to go down there. I am scared of what God will teach me. What He will call me to. I am determined not to numb myself to the pain, I want my heart to be broken over what breaks His heart. Yet it will not be easy. It is not easy to open up and be vulnerable and let God mold and shape you. But it's what I long for. I long for Him to come in and take over my life, my heart. And so, it's with great eagerness that I await my trip. These next couple of weeks will be a time of preparation- mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I keep thinking of the song Empty Me by Jeremy Camp. This is the cry of my heart:

Holy fire, burn away

My desire for anything

That is not of you

And is of me

I want more of you

And less of me

Empty Me

Empty me

And fill, won't you fill me

With you, with you.

I don't want my life to be about me. I pray that He fills us with Him- all of Him. His compassion, loyalty, faithfulness, goodness, grace, love.

LOVE this song! :)

I just heard this song for the first time today. PAUSE the music in the right side-bar so you can listen to it!! I posted the lyrics as well! :) Enjoy, ladies! We ARE beautiful!





I've been waiting
For a hero who's brave and strong-
Someone to love me,
Someone to tell me I belong,
So I pretend I'm satisfied,
And I stand watching from the sidelines,
Till You pull me into the light
And say, 'It's Your turn now,
Welcome to your life!'

(Chorus)
And You call me beautiful,
And say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys to unlock my soul
Oh You call me beautiful

There's a smile on my face,
And a brand new light in my eyes,
It's a new day,
And I've never felt so alive-
I feel as if I could conquer anything,
Oh thats what Your love has done for me,
And now all I want to be,
Is everything You want me to be-

(Chorus)
And You call me beautiful,
And say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys
To unlock my soul, But I didn't know-
Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed,
Things will be much different,
Now that I know
You call me beautiful

(Bridge)
The story is better than I could dream after all,
Now this is reality
To know You and to hear You call me beautiful
Call me beautiful-
Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed,
Things will be much different,
Now that I know-
Now that I know
You call me beautiful

At Home

For the first time since we've moved, I finally felt like this was home. Why?? We got a piano!!! A REAL piano!! I've been playing on my keyboard for past year and a half since we've moved and I was fine. But it truly isn't the same as a real piano. So today the piano was delivered. I got home from work and played a couple of chords but was in a hurry so I didn't really take in all that had been given to me in this gift. After I finished my homework tonight, I sat down with my worship music and i felt at home. My hands glided across the keys (not plastic keys!!) as the beautiful songs of praise flowed from this instrument into our home. It was a sweet time of worship for me and I feel so thankful and humbled right now. Music is such a beautiful reflection of our Creator. As the harmonies flow I just think of our lives and how perfect God blends everything together.

I want to thank Mom for the time she spent lining up delivery services and tuning. Thank you SOOOO MUCH to the family who used to own this piano! You have no idea how thankful I am.

And... though you never thought you'd hear this.. drum roll please..

Mom and Dad,

thank you for pushing me on in piano. What a gift it has been to be able to play and serve at church with it. Thank you for encouraging me in those tough spots that I went through and wanted to quit.

Blessings,
Molly

Water To My Soul

My heart was just feeling heavy this afternoon. It was over alot of things, but in the end God is so faithful to encourage. I sat down with my laptop and Bible and listened to these two songs and my heart was just refreshed by the Spirit.

Really Sweet

Just really like this song. Alot of adoptive families have used it in their slideshows of their kids which makes me cry because it fits so perfectly. Anyway, just felt like sharing it! My brother is sitting here teasing me for liking this song lol. I'm a girl. What can I say?! We're supposed to like sweet songs about love!!!

Begone Unbelief
by
Undelible Grace

Begone, unbelief,
My Savior is near,
And for my relief
Will surely appear;
By prayer let me wrestle,
And He will perform;
With Christ in the vessel,
I smile at the storm.

Though dark be my way,
Since He is my Guide,
'Tis mine to obey,
'Tis His to provide;
Though cisterns be broken,
And creatures all fail,
The word He hath spoken
Shall surely prevail.

Chorus:
Begone unbelief, the Savior is here.
Begone unbelief, the Savior is here.
Begone unbelief, the Savior is here.
Though cisterns be broken, and creatures all fail.
The Word He has spoken will surely prevail.
The Word He has spoken will surely prevail.

His love, in time past,
Forbids me to think
He'll leave me at last
In trouble to sink:
Each sweet Ebenezer
I have in review
Confirms His good pleasure
To help me quite through.

Why should I complain
Of want or distress,
Temptation or pain?
He told me no less;
The heirs of salvation,
I know from His Word,
Through much tribulation
Must follow their Lord.

How bitter that cup
No heart can conceive,
Which He drank quite up,
That sinners might live!
His way was much rougher
And darker than mine;
Did Christ, my Lord, suffer,
And shall I repine?

Since all that I meet
Shall work for my good,
The bitter is sweet,
The medicine, food;
Though painful at present,
'Twill cease before long,
And then, oh, how pleasant
The conqueror's song!

This song was introduced to our church this morning and i LOVE it. The words are so powerful, a balm to the soul, an encouragment to press on for the victory and sing the conqueror's song!! We all know what our cracked cisterns are, the parts of our heart that ache and ache, even when we're happy. We try to fill them up with things of this world, attempting to supress the pain. We cover them up, not letting anyone else see. But the Father sees our hearts. He sees the silent, hidden tears shed when nobody else is looking. He gives us the everlasting fountain of life that will fill the cracked cisterns to overflowing! What great hope is that?! Thank you Jesus for your hope and love! Help me to believe, even when it's hard and it seems that the path is hopeless. Help me to trust, when the way is unclear! Fill our cisterns with living water, that we may be consumed with YOU!

Guess What????

I'M BACK!! :)

Finally, after almost an entire week, I'm ready to blog again. I've had 5 of the hardest, most stretching, challenging days that I can ever remember. So I come back here to write not about my victories, for I have none except that which God gives me. Any strength I have is through Him. Any love I have is through Him. Any hope I have is through Him. Hallelujah. But I write because I want to give Him the glory (oh, and because I missed blogging!).

Last Wednesday, my parents and I sat down for a talk who's outcome I was NOT expecting!! Due to complications with scholarship deadlines, potential graduation dates, and so on, we made the very tough decision for me to graduate next year instead of this year. Yeah, so I'm now a junior in high school! Thus began the next loop in this rollercoaster I'm on. For now, I think that I'm riding on flat ground.. but I thought that last time as well.

The Lord began a great work in me that morning and it's still going. I don't ever remember being so convicted, encouraged, and disappointed all at the same time. I go from thinking, "Yes, Lord, this is your plan for me. You've showed me so many good things that will come from this. Thank you!" and then an hour later I'll be in tears pleading with Him to please show me why this had to happen.

I'd sat down about 15 times to try and blog about this experience but my emotions were so raw I just couldn't bring myself to write anything. I truly had to "grieve" the loss of my dream of graduating early. It seems so dumb but that's what i was working for. Each day when I got up to do school I was working towards college. Of course, I still am, just not like before.

But, if only for my benefit, I do want to share a few ways that God's glory has been shown through the past 5 days:

1. God has been preparing me for this season all along. He had me do a devotional this summer about joy. And oh boy am I leaning on that right now!! This week has tested my ability to find joy to the fullest!! I was reminded of how my joy must be found not in my circumstances, but with Christ!

2. God has shown me, specifically yesterday and today, where i had built my idols. When He rocked my world (that's what it felt like) and we completely changed plans for next year, those idols were stripped away. When those idols were stripped away, I started turning to other things in my life, only to find myself panicking because none of those were secure. I've had to just read the Scriptures and know that God still loves me despite all of these things He's convicted me of and the shaky, fearful, insecure, saddened person I was after Wednesday. I've had to believe that His plan is PERFECT.

3. God has used music this week in a mighty, incredible way. On Wednesday I made a CD with all of my favorite encouraging songs that I have listened to in the car ever since. Now, when I have a "moment" when I feel the discouragement, frustration, or disappointment seep in He brings one of those songs to mind!!

There's so much more I could say but I'm too tired. I can't believe how freeing it has been to write in somewhere other than my journal (although that has been incredibly healing as well). So thanks for reading. I'm glad to be back in the blogosphere!!

I'm sure I'll be writing more soon about life in general and the fresh perspective I have on how I want to live life in light of this huge change! The Lord definitely redeems every situation. It's been such a tough week but I keep seeing sunshine poke through the storm clouds!!

"For I know the plans i have for you,' says the lord, 'plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Straight from Heaven

The Lord's timing for showing me this song could not have been better. I have played it probably 20 times (NOT JOKING) in the past 24 hours. It is totally my heart right now. I love God's timing. He literally met me in my need, in my tears, and blessed me with, what I feel, is a "tangible" object of His love. When hope feels far away, He gives gifts like this. He sees our tears and mourns with us because He is our Father!! He doesn't like to see His children hurting. He sees our victories and triumphs, our laughter, and smiles. Our God is the reason I'm here today. The reason I can find joy in disappointing or hard circumstances. The reason I have hope.

Wanted to post the lyrics and the youtube video so y'all could hear it. Go down to the music and pause it so you can hear the video.




Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Faithfully Forever

The music director at church has brought back a song from years ago that I have fallen in love with the past couple weeks.

The lyrics are:

All I have is what you give me
All I am is what you make me
Faithfully forever
Forever I will be
Thankful for each day you give me
Resting in the hands that saved me
Faithfully forever
Forever I will be
In awe of Calvary

Such a simple song yet so powerful. A simple prayer to the Father, expressing my heart's desire to be faithful forever, thankful forever.