There are lies whispered everywhere. From culture, media, peers, professors, the Enemy. What are we going to do to combat them? This is not just a part of life, it is a battle. A daily battle of finding who we are in Christ. We have to choose every day whether or not we will allow the Enemy to feed those lies. Or if we will believe TRUTH.
Not believing the truth has huge implications. It puts you in bondage. John 8:36 says, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." We are to live in freedom. The truth gives us freedom. The truth gives us an identity-we are God's handiwork. I LOVE this! He fashioned us. I picture an artist with her brush, thoughtfully adding minute details to the canvas. Or a potter forming the clay, carefully molding and shaping to perfection. The artist will not stop until the creation is just as he had envisioned. This is God with us! He made us in just the way that we ought to be. We do not need people to tell us if we are good enough. We are His handwork.
The truth gives us purpose- created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. We were created to do His work, which He already has planned for us. And because we were created by Him, we are already equipped with everything we need to carry out His calling. So despite what our GPA is, a "career aptitude test," the comments of a professor, or the skepticism and doubt from the Enemy gripping your heart, we ARE prepared, called, and created to do HIS work. No matter how hard, how discouraging, how crazy it may look.
I have been fighting a battle the past month unlike anything I have ever experienced. It is so full of passion, burden, and calling from the Lord. Yet at the same time, lies and doubts flood my heart. I never thought so much spiritual growth, testing, and challenge could come from one Spanish class.
Every day, I question myself why am I doing this when I don't have it takes. I ask myself what was I thinking when I signed up for this, when I decided to make Spanish my life for now. I feel like a failure, like I've wasted all these hours of studying and class time only to face the fact that I just wasn't cut out for this after all. These are the lies. And while they so easily captivate my attention, my gaze is so gently turned to the beauty of truth that happens when I tell people about my hopes for the future with Hispanic people. When my heart absolutely swells with love for the girl I hardly know, yet shares her heart and life with me for 2 hours of the week while I stumble through algebra lessons in Spanish with her.
I had a very humbling experience in class today that was humiliating and really just incredibly discouraging. I left the front of the room from my presentation feeling the silent message of "FAILURE" radiate from the professor. I sat back down at my desk and couldn't believe that I was about to start crying in a college classroom. You only do that in high school, right? But as I held back the tears I immediately started to pray that God would show me truth. To not let this experience bring me to failure but only a reminder of the identity that I have in HIM. I asked myself why I was crying. Was it because I was embarrassed by the critiques I had received? While my pride and confidence was definitely bruised, it was more a disappointment in myself and a stifling fear that I would not be able to accomplish this mission that I have. To me, this class is not 3 credits to add to the diploma. This class is one step towards what I feel God is calling me to. And the thought of giving up now brought a wave of sorrow that gripped my heart. So I chose to fight this battle. I pulled myself together, left class, went to my room, (cried a little more, but that's what girls do), and started searching Scripture, searching for any tokens of TRUTH to add to my weaponry as I choose victory.
I CHOOSE to believe that I am God's handiwork. He has created me to finish this class, to go to Spain, to be a Godly leader here on campus, to encourage and love others well, to handle my health issues with grace and gratitude. These tasks are not easy but He has created me with everything I need to accomplish the life He has for me.
I CHOOSE to believe that I was created to do good works, which He has prepared for me already! For some reason, He's brought me to this place, this school, to learn Spanish. Past that I'm not really sure, but it's so obvious that this is the work He has prepared for me in this time and place.
So I clothe myself in prayer, in Scripture, in the strength of the Lord, who goes before us in battle.
Will you take up your sword with me? Can we join together, praying for one another that Christ may be glorified through our lives?
My heart so desires this, brothers and sisters. We are His handiwork, let's win this battle together.
Love,
Molly
2 comments:
Hey Molly! I've been so behind on reading blogs so I took a while to catch up on yours this morning. Sounds like God is really working in you and through you. That is so exciting!! Your trip to Spain sounds incredible. Can't wait to see pictures and hear stories of your adventures there.
I ran across a blog that I think you'll love. You may already follow it. Its about a young lady with a heart for orphans and a heart for God. She doesn't update all too often but when she writes, its something worthy of my time to stop and read. Hope you enjoy it too!
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/
Blessings to you Molly!!
Thanks for sharing your heart Molly! I'll be praying for you, that God continues to lead and confirm His will.
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