Just when you least expect it...

Hope has a way of turning *its* face to you

just when you least expect it

you walk in a room you look out a window

and something there leaves you breathless

you say to yourself it's been a while since I felt this

but it feels like it might be hope

Sarah Groves "It Might Be Hope"

I've been running on empty this week, after several draining days of school and home life here.

After another long day, I'd started to get used to frustrating and disappointing moments, and to be honest, I was just expecting more of them.

But tonight was different.

I had a dream 2 nights ago about Eagle's Nest. It was extremely vivid, especially with Claudia and Ornoria. And it broke my heart. Ever since I've been here, I've of course had my ears perked up for any talk of foster care, adoption, orphans. I had heard of 2 Chinese adoptions, and a comment about foster care but that was it. My heart has really been heavy for the orphan ever since that dream, and so I decided to ask my host mom about it tonight. She's used to typical questions about food and culture, but I don't think she's ever had a conversation about adoption and orphans in Spain.

She turns around from the stove, and with a somber face tells me that there's an orphanage down the street. Down the street. Down the street. Down the street. I could have been placed in ANY part of Salamanca. Miles away. But the Lord placed me HERE. In this crazy, dramatic, and somewhat stressful home that is right next to an orphanage.

I was planning on just walking by it this weekend, but she said that they would surely let me inside. My heart is breaking and my mind is racing. Just a block away is an entire building of the fatherless. Just a block away are people who are giving their lives to care for these children day in and day out. Even if I don't get to go in, it makes this trip seem so much more real, and so much more purposeful.

My host mom kept saying how she had goose bumps on her arms all night thinking about me going there. She doesn't even like to talk or think about orphans in her country because it breaks her heart and makes her so sad. She said she doesn't have the strength to go there. So in 15 minutes of conversation I had the chance to tell her about the hope that I have. That without this hope in God, I would not be able to see the face of another orphan. I told her my heart has indeed been broken many times, but I lean on the strength of God, and look to His hope. This passion is not on my strength. I focus on one orphan at a time, praise the Lord for every family that brings home just one more. One less orphan. One more family.

In the midst of a week when all hope was gone, and where I felt my purpose being drained out of me, the Lord moves. Just when I least expect it.

I so appreciate your prayers as I start on this completely unexpected journey to minister to the orphan here in Spain. I really don't know what the next few weeks will hold. I'm not sure that I'm ready to be broken again. I'm not sure I really want to be reminded of what their little voices sound like, speaking Spanish and giggling. But I am learning Spanish for these precious ones. I am memorizing Spanish verbs for those who are forgotten. And while I don't know how the pieces of the mosaic are all going to fit together, I know that this piece in Spain is going to be a part of it.

He has told you, O man, what is good;
and^(P) what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,^[b]
and to^(Q) walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:10

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this:^(C)to visit^(D) orphans and widows in their affliction, and^(E) to keep oneself^(F) unstained from the world.

James 1:27