I have been really struggling with trust the past couple of weeks. I have come to realize that trust is one of the major themes of the Christian life. You never stop having to trust God, and it seems as though the things He asks you to trust Him with get bigger and bigger. The thing that the Lord has deeply convicted me about this weekend is how I trust. There are 2 aspects of trusting the Lord. One is first trusting with the knowledge that He is trustworthy. In your mind and heart, you know that He is sovereign and worthy of trust. But there is also a second part. This is the action of trusting. This means that when you lay your life down at His feet in an act of surrender, you allow His peace, joy, and hope to fill you. This is not to say that Christians do not feel fear, insecurity, and doubt. In this world, we are not capable of trusting the Lord perfectly. That perfect trust was found only in Eden, and will be found again in Heaven. But the hope and joy of the Lord should reign in the heart of a Christian who trusts. Because if you truly believe God, if you truly trust His promises, then there is no reason why you should go around with a heart full of insecurity, fear, doubt, and anxiety. The presence of these things is a direct result of disbelief, of not trusting God.
That was me this week. I said I believed Him, but my countenance, my attitude, and my behavior did not reflect it. I was discouraged and negative. I was not reflecting a peaceful attitude of trust, of rest in the Savior. I was holding tight to everything I told God I trusted Him with. It was like in some way, I liked carrying around those burdens, because it meant that i had some control over my life. But as the Lord showed me this weekend, I cannot fully trust Him while holding the reins. It doesn't work like that. When I say I trust God, I have to DO it. I have to hand over my life, my heart, my future and trust the Lord's sovereign plan!
"For You, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, since youth. " Psalm 71:5
"O taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!" Psalm 34:8
"Let the righteous one rejoice in the Lord and take refuge in him! Let all the upright in heart exult! Psalm 64:10
"But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation." Psalm 13:5
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
Through putting our trust in Him completely, we are blessed, filled with joy, overcome with hope. We cannot, and should not, live our lives in fear and anxiety. It is not glorifying to the Lord, and it does not show others that He is a God to be trusted- in all things.
This poem came from some journaling this weekend. I was writing and asking the Lord to teach me how to trust more fully. I was really hoping He would show me something practical. You know, like go read this Scripture, or go read this book. But instead, I got this picture in my head of God sitting next to me. He takes my face in His hands, looks me in the eyes, and says simply, "Trust me, Daughter."
My hands hold tight the doubt and fear, the worries of my day
They push away the joy and peace, destructive in every way.
They tell me keep trying, their whispers enticing as they leadeth me astray
As I sink to the bottom I know my heart's gotten tricked by the nasty prey
Jesus knelt in the Garden, a night of surrender, in anguish his sweat thick with blood
Father if you are willing, please take this cup from me; yet not my will but your will be done.
He faced fear unimaginable, pain without measure, yet He trusted the plan of the One
Whose power and glory shape each of our stories, in this race in which we run.
I long to open my hands in surrender, to quiet my heart in His truth
To trust my God, my tender Love, the Father of me and of you.
I look for a book to help me, a "how-to-trust" hint, tip, or two
But when he looks in my eyes, He says TRUST. You are mine. Trust, and let hope rise anew.