Yesterday morning was not heading in a good direction. Several things had come up to make me feel stressed, I was seriously afraid I was going to fail my chemistry test, and I had pridefully skipped my devotional, telling myself I didn't need it. Ha! The Lord would show me otherwise. Halfway through my morning the Lord prompted me to go upstairs and spend some time in the Word. He was totally tugging at my heart and He showed i really needed my time with Him. I'd been given some C.S. Lewis stuff to read so I settled down in my chair to dig into that. The topic was on giving our WHOLE selves to Him. Not part of myself but ALL of it. My hopes, fears, dreams, insecurities, and desires. ALL of it. I lost it. I sat and wept. The Lord was pushing me again to surrender all. And I was just completely overwhelmed with thankfulness to our God for holding my heart so tenderly, for loving me, for His grace and mercy, for forgiving me AGAIN and AGAIN, for adopting me as His own daughter, for creating a plan for my life, for providing such an incredible family and church family with friends who care about me. And I also could sense the peace of the Spirit wash over me. The college trip raised alot of questions about what's realistic for the next 4 years. The whole weekend I was just praying that the Lord would keep my mind open to wherever He wants me, and that He would make the path clear, that He would give me courage to do whatever He has for me next year, and that I would be able to fight the fear and doubt that keeps creeping into my heart. God just blows me away sometimes with His faithfulness. Praise God!!
"The Lord is my light and my salvation-
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life-
of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance agaisnt me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
One thing of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that i may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon the rock.
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
i will sing and make music to the Lord.
Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!!!"
Your face, O Lord, I will seek.