Having a Rough Day

I'm taking a break from my camp posts to blog about life. Life is so full of ups and downs, joys and trials, disappointments and happiness. My heart is so torn as I sit here and write. Last week was an incredible week for me spiritually. Sweet times of worship and awesome teaching. I had a refreshed spirit. It was also a hard week for me. It's hard for me to watch all of these other families who "have it all together." I have a great family. We really do all love eachother but I don't think it's always outwardly expressed. Right now I'm just feeling very discouraged and saddened that we don't have the kind of love that they do. I try my best to be kind and obedient but it takes more than one person's actions to change a family. It takes humility on all parts, repentance, and most of all it takes Jesus to change us. I'd prayed so hard in the days leading up to camp that God would do a miraculous work amongst us and that we would have peace, no more arguing between my brothers, and that a huge step would be taken to heal the cracks in the relationship between us kids. But it didn't happen. Why? I don't know. I'm still working through that. What can I do to make things better? I have no clue. I'm at a loss of how to fix this but my Savior came to this miserable earth to die that we might be redeemed!! He came and died so that we could be forgiven and start fresh with life! He came and died and offers us hope and shows us incredible grace and mercy. Oh how I love Jesus. He's the rock on which we stand and the light in the dark.

I know that sometime, we'll work it out. I'll look back on this post and cry tears of joy instead of tears of sadness. I have hope that things will get better.

Right now, I better go fix my smeared makeup before our church's softball game! :P

Family Pictures At Family Camp

So as not to break tradition, we took family pictures again this year. I voted it as the most miserable hour of my life so far. :P I guess that's what happens when you have two teenage boys? I don't know why but it was absolutely awful. Not to mention that after all of the pictures we took, we still didn't get one of the whole family that we like. No more complaining though! I suppose everyone has bad photo shoots sometimes. All the more reason to have another!! :) Press "View All Images" to see the slideshow. Sorry. I don't know why it won't just run on it's own.

Family Camp Day 2

In my journal I wrote, "This place is like a breath of fresh air. I love walking around and seeing couples holding hands, a sweet yet simple thing I rarely see. What a blessing to be in the presence of so many Godly people who have such big servant hearts. I love worshiping with our family and friends as well as socializing. My mouth hurts because I've been smiling and laughing so much!! What a good problem to have! I really believe that the best thing Dad can do for our family is to bring us here to this place."

Monday we slept in late and went for brunch. There's this Christian bookstore close to camp that's intended for homeschool families. Basically, it's a huge warehouse with bargain Christian books for kids and adults. So after some board games we headed there and then went for a late lunch. Since it was Noah and Caleb's actual birthday, they got to pick where we went for lunch- surprise, surprise, they picked McDonalds! So we came back with bags of books and headed down to the lake. The camp built these wooden boxes that float in the water and so Dad, the boys and I, and the Semlow girls messed around on those, trying to see how many people we could balance at once- until the box flipped over and we decided it wasn't very safe.... :) The boys and Dad also blobbed that afternoon. We had our first chapel service and a funny evening with our teen group getting to know eachother. We suprised the boys and decorated our cabin for their birthday and they opened a few little surprise gifts that night after service. I can't believe they're 13.

In my journal I wrote, "this place is like a breath of fresh air. I love walking around and seeing couples holding hands, a sweet yet simple thing I rarely see. What a blessing to be in the presence of so many Godly people who have such big servant hearts. I love worshiping with my family and friends as well as socializing. So far, my mouth is aching from smiling too much! What a good problem to have! :) I really believe that the best thing Dad can do for our family is to take us here. It's a wonderful experience."

A video of Caleb blobbing:




This is of Dad blobbing- he was hurting after this one!! :)

Family Camp Day 1

The boys were at Aunt Diane and Uncle Dan's for a few days and so my parents and I packed everything and loaded the van Sunday morning. Camp technically doesn't start until Monday morning but they give you the option to come on Sunday night and they feed you dinner and brunch the next morning. We love going early and getting settled in our cabin before the crazy schedule picks up. So we left at 8:40 (earlier than our departure goal- a first for our family!) and caravaned with the Semlows to my aunt and uncle's house to pick up the boys, take a dip in the pool, and eat lunch. After that, we headed to camp. That first night we played a crazy long game of Settlers and went to Dairy Queen for ice cream.

Hope

Hope is one of my favorite words. Because of Christ, we can say that word with confidence. He gives us hope for a future, hope that the dreams we hide in our heart may come true, hope for tommorow, and in the rough times- hope that the sun will come out again. As I've been packing this morning, my heart is full to the brim of hope for this next week. I made a plaque (pic. on left corner) a couple of months ago with scripture about hope and lyrics from a Sarah Groves song. Everytime I would get up from stuffing clothes in my suitcase I would see the word hope and be reminded of everything our great God has planned in His will. I know He's preparing my heart to grow and be nourished and I believe that God is preparing our family for something very special (yes, Corinne, you know what I'm talking about! lol). Smile and pray! :) Just kidding.

This will be my last post probably until next Saturday. Have a great week bloggy buddies! :)

Does anybody need some fur???

Because Chloe has some extra!! :) That picture at the top was the result of only 10 minutes of brushing..... we could stuff a mattress!

Feels like a Friday

It feels like a Friday today. I'm not quite sure why but it does! It's a good thing it's not Friday because we have ALOT to do before Sunday morning comes! We've begun the dining room table stack, where we pile all of the stuff for Family Camp on the dining room table- snacks, batteries, games, sunscreen, bug spray, etc. Our packing list consists of two columns on a sheet of notebook paper. Yeah, alot of stuff. Our car is jam packed when we leave! :) This year I'll get a picture. I'm really getting excited for it. If you ever have the chance to take your family to Life Action Family Camp do it! It's an incredible experience and I hope that I'll be able to take my kids to it someday. I'm looking forward to posting all my pics when I get back. I'll definitely have to do day-by-day posts because there will be too much to tell all at once! :)

I didn't have to babysit today so I'm hanging out with a friend this morning, babysitting another little boy this afternoon, going to part of my NYC training, and leaving early from that to go to our youth group Bible Study. It will be a busy day! :)

Everyone have a lovely Thursday!

Today

I'm afraid this blog may be a bit boring this summer with the exception of vacation posts and special occasions. So far, all of my posts have been about my babysitting job. Sorry!! Don't read if you don't want to!! :)



In one short week, I have fallen in love with the kids I babysit. It has been so much fun watching their personalities come alive and everyone of them has captured my heart in a different way. I'm praising God that He so graciously gave me this job because it's a blast. Many people (including my parents) said that after babysitting 5 kids I would surely rethink my dream of having a big family. Believe it or not, babysitting them has actually strengthened my dream. Sorry Mom and Dad, it was a nice attempt to get me to stop talking about adoption! I've been encouraged and inspired to follow my dream of adopting children one day in the future. I've seen that it's not impossible to adopt and that it is possible for kids to "mold" into a family, even at an older age.



My little adventure for the day was learning to ride their "tandem/runalong" bike. J (I can't use names so I'll do initials) told me today it was time to learn to ride the bike. I readily agreed and hopped onto the bike and pedaled off. I thought to myself, "This is so easy!!! I don't know why they were saying it's difficult to balance!" Well, I spoke too soon. J hopped on the back of the bike so that I could learn to ride it with a kid on back. That was hard!! I still can't drive in a straight line, even after 30 minutes of practicing. Balancing the weight of the bike behind you is alot harder than I thought. As I swerved down the sidewalk I was just praying nobody I knew would drive by and see me! I looked like a preschooler who just learned how to ride without training wheels, wobbly and nervous. What was so cute about it was J's encouragement the entire time. He wouldn't let me give up and every few seconds he'd say, "You're doing it!!/Good job!!/You're doing great!/You're going so straight!/Keep pedaling!/Don't stop!" or the best one was, "This is a so good practice!" I had to laugh to myself at that one. Phrases like that are pretty frequent with two kids who lived in Ethiopia all of their lives!! I've corrected alot of grammar this past week!! Anyway, I think I finally have the bike down. If you see a teenage girl swerving down the sidewalk with a 6-yr old in tow (oh and 4 other kids with their own bikes) it's probably me. Say a prayer and stay out of the way! :)

The Lord is teaching me so much this summer. It's incredible to see what He shows you when you ask!! :) I'm praying for each and every one of you and that you would learn something new about our precious Savior this week. Blessings!!

~Molly

Full life, full heart

My heart is so full right now. It's just one of those days where you can't help but see God in everything. Where you feel so loved by our Savior you can hardly stand it. Where you see His incredible faithfulness and you stand in awe. When your eyes are opened wide to the blessings that He's given you- none of which you deserve. I am in awe of how good our God is to sinners like me. I give Him nothing and He has given me everything.

I had a great morning with "my" kids. Their daddy's home from his fishing trip so that meant an extra hour and a half of sleep for me. What a treat!! They said they just wanted to stay inside but I knew they needed some excercise so I proposed a picnic. I popped frozen pizzas in the oven, made some koolaid, wrapped the pizzas in foil, and we took off down the trail to the "purple park" (that's what they call it!). On the way there, one of the boys reached out for the hand of the other. My heart absolutely melted!!! :) It was so cute to see those brothers holding hands walking to the park. The one boy had some meltdowns this morning because of his brother and he started our little hike to the park in a nasty mood. But, as Sarah Groves says, love covers over a multitude of sins. He chose to forgive and by holding out his hand he was showing great love towards his brother. They're best buds. My only regret was that I didn't have a camara!

Tonight I start my training for NYC. I don't know of anybody going from my church to this particular session so I'll be meeting some new people. On the home front, we're gearing up for Family Camp and figuring out why we have a lake of water in our basement...

PTL!!! (praise the Lord)

Wonderful news from Eagle's Nest in Guatemala!!! 5 cases have gone through PGN and been approved within the last eight days!!! This is incredible and proof that the Lord is redeeming this situation with the birthmoms and interviews. He's actually using these interviews as a way to speed things along.

Kristen, Juan Jose is finally going home!! That little stinker is going to his forever family after 3 1/2 years!! Praise God!! Here's a picture of him for those of you who don't know this little man!

My heart is so full for these families who have waited and waited for their children. Think about it- what would it be like to wait 3 years for your child? Kids grow up alot in three years!! With every update I'm sure the parents heart's are torn- their baby is growing up without them yet at least they get to see the changes. Thankfully, Eagle's Nest does a fantastic job of taking care of their kids.

Your prayers can still be with "my" little Claudia. Well, she's not so little anymore. With each monthly update she's looking more beautiful. Really, she's gone from cute to beautiful. I just want to reach through the computer and hold that sweet girl. If I am fortunate enough to go down again in time to see her before she gets transferred I will willingly sit and just hold her. I miss her laugh and her arms around my neck. Can't wait to see her again!!!

Beautiful Picture

I probably watch 30 adoption blogs. Thankfully, some genius invented Google Reader, which tells me when they've put anything new on the blog. This has saved me tons of time and allowed me to follow more people's adoption stories. Anyway, this particular family was in Ethiopia this week picking up their little girl and on their blog they posted this picture which sums up the emotion of finally having your precious child placed in your arms. By the time I will finally experience this I will have dreamed about it for over 15 years (more than that probably). Yet I'm sure that will never prepare me for the sheer joy and abundant love that will spill out of me when that baby/child is placed in my arms. It's far off but I can't wait for the day when that will be me and my family!! (If you haven't noticed, this whole adoption thing hinges on getting married. I hope this isn't a problem in God's plan!!!) :)

Happy Birthday Noah and Caleb!!!

We celebrated Noah and Caleb's 13th birthday on Tuesday night. It was a couple of weeks early but we'll be at Family Camp over their real birthday and it was going to be too hard to hide a ping-pong table in the garage for 2 weeks! :) So we celebrated early. We went to Chili's for chips and salsa (YUMMY!!) and then back to the house for gifts. We'll do cake and birthday dinner on a different night. As I said, they got a ping-pong table from one aunt and uncle, $ from another aunt and uncle, and a Wii from my parents. The Wii is a blast. I love it!! :) But I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE 13!!!! Don't miss the video on the bottom of the boys seeing their Ping-Pong table.

Go Figure

Kid: Hey let's play some baseball now!!
Me: Ok........ we can do that. I'm so not a baseball person. This is going to be humiliating!! :)

15 minutes into the game

Kids: No that wasn't out! It's safe. He should've walked! No that was a foul!!
They're looking at ME to judge this game? I think the 6-yr old knows more than me!
Me: Well, I guess it's safe. This game's just for fun so we don't have to get picky about rules.
phew..... that was close. I can't make judgement calls on a baseball game!! Who signed me up for this?!!!


Well, that was a piece of my day. Along with being a cook, peacemaker, meltdown manager, referree, math tutor, hug-giver, and playmate. But it's so much fun. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

The one little boy nearly had me crying right along with him today. He was having a rough morning and, I soon found out, he's one of those kids who bottles all the emotions up inside. Then he lets them all come spilling out at the most random moment. I crept into his room to find him sobbing in the corner. I sat down next to him and talked with him for several minutes, praying all the while for wisdom and discernment and that God would give me the words to speak hope and encouragement to his sensitive heart. The Lord did guide my mouth and I think he was OK afterwards. The most important thing that I learned today is the incredible impact we as caregivers have on our kids. They look to us for direction and help. When that sweet boy told me what was troubling him I didn't know what I could possibly say!! My fearful, timid spirit told me to flee before I say something wrong but I know that matters of the heart are not to be taken lightly. We all have kids in our lives that can use our encouragement. Who knows when God might want to use YOU to lift their spirits?

First Day on the Job

It was my first day babysitting today. If I could sum it up in one word I'd say exhausting. It will be a long tiring summer!! But the kids are very sweet and I know that they'll be fun to hang out with. Two of the girls had tennis lessons this morning and so a college girl took them to the lessons, which were at a park close to their house. Later on I walked the other three over to go play at the park and watch the girls at their lessons. Not being able to drive the kids around is exceedingly frustrating!! But I'm trying not to complain about that! :) Keep me accountable, please! The Lord has certainly given me that challenge to test my patience and trust in Him this summer. Within 30 minutes this morning I'd exhausted all ideas of fun games to play with kids when they are bored and you have nothing to do but sit and watch your sibling play tennis. I was slightly discouraged as the end of the morning neared, but when the youngest one stuck her little hand in mine I knew that this is where I'm supposed to be. Kids are my passion and I find great joy in them. I'm looking forward to the bike rides we'll take, trips to the library and out for ice cream.

The morning will come way too soon so I'm heading to bed!! I was going to blog about the boys b-day but I am just too tired. So stay tuned for pics. from our celebrating last night!!

Simple Pleasures

Lots of simple things that just made my day:

Celebrating our Pastor's 15 years of service to our church with a special service and potluck afterwards. They brought in a bagpiper and once the congregation was seated he played Amazing Grace and that one classic bagpipe tune (i would hum it for you but that doesn't work going from my computer to yours lol!). It was that kind of moment that just gives you the goosebumps because it's so amazing. They also had Pastor Bob's best friend travel here for the service this morning. He is an AMAZING musician and he played piano while singing this song called Reign Your Glory (i think). It is a powerful song about revival and one that I have enjoyed listening to from time to time. So it was a great service.

Going to Libi Faith's open house (the little girl from China who I went to the airport to greet). It was just amazing to see this precious baby here in the arms of her Mommy and Daddy!! God is SO GOOD!!! If I counted right, there were 10 little adopted girls from China/Korea and one Chinese boy there this afternoon. Plus 1 little Guatemalan girl. I was in heaven!! Talk about cute kids. I also got sit and talk with friends. A great afternoon for many reasons.

Watching the sunset while sitting at the pool chatting with Corinne tonight. I think I might've gotten a little more tan.... maybe not. Either way, it was good to catch up on our crazy lives as well as just relax.

Well... that's all for my day. I get to sleep in one last time tommorow. My babysitting family decided to go out of town for a long weekend so now I don't start until Tuesday. I've made a list of things that I can do with them to keep them busy but I'm sure we'll exhaust it quickly!!

God bless your week!!

Only Dog Syndrome???????

I think Chloe has a bad case of "Only Dog Syndrome." Similar to "only child syndrome" only with a dog. We are dog-sitting our friend's dog Daisy today and tommorow. Although Chloe enjoys having a playmate she is ridiculously jealous of any attention we give Daisy. If I pet Daisy then Chloe growls. I know. She is pathetic and spoiled! :)

I'm looking forward to having a buddy tonight in my bedroom. Daisy actually knows what it means to sleep at night, unlike hyper Chloe. I'd always wanted Chloe to sleep in my room but it never worked. I tried several times and every night it would take her an hour to finally lie down after pacing the room and lathering my face in disgusting dog slobber. Then, she would wake me up at 5 AM. Nope. Didn't work. Oh well, for tonight I have a dog that will actually be my companion- not my worst nightmare. Just kidding. We love Chloe so much.

Here's some pics of the two "girls" as we call them.

Bright and Early!!!

It is Saturday morning at 7:49 AM. I'm sitting here enjoying a quiet house as I listen to the soothing pitter-patter of rain on the roof. Today the Jr. High kids at church are going on the Mystery Road Trip and so I was at church at 7 o'clock this morning to help collect money and permission slips from the parents/kids. Yes it was early but I really don't mind. As long as I've gotten enough sleep I love getting up early. I love getting a good start to my day and I'm actually more alert and awake than when I sleep in late. I tend to be kind of sluggish when I sleep until 9 or 10. So all of this to say that I'm looking forward to a productive day. Since both of my brothers will be gone until 9 tonight (a whole day without hearing them argue, YEAH!!!) that leaves my mom and I here at home, at least until Dad gets back from work. We're going to go for lunch and spend some time together scrapbooking. We used to do things together frequently but now our time together is precious. In 15 short months I'll be in college, possibly away from home, so I treasure time with my Mom more than I did a year ago!!

Playing with Pictures

A collage of some favorite pictures. Friends, Family, Flowers, and ,of course, adopted kids! :) Don't shake your head!! I know it's pathetic but they're SO CUTE!! How can you not like looking at them?!!!

Friendship

I don't really know how to begin this post but I don't want to skip blogging about this. So i'll do my best! :)

The past school year, especially the past few months, have been a time of growth in my friendships. I'm so amazed at how different my life is because of them!!! I journaled today that, "never have I felt a greater sense of both the absence and presence of community in my life!" Now, you probably are wondering what I mean by that. It's been so cool to see God mold together the youth from church. We have grown very close over the past few months- between game nights and 2 hour trips around town to find chalk we've definitely grown from acquaintences to friends!! When we're together as a group, we have a God-honoring community and I love it!! I enjoy hanging out with every one of them. All of them have enriched my life and made me look forward to the weekends! :) That is the presence of community. When I'm home alone I miss that community and I look forward to the next time we get to hang out. So thank you for being my friend, you guys!! I don't think most of them know that I even have a blog so they won't see this but oh well!!! :)

Kristen, I could write a whole paragraph on you but I won't!! :) I think you'd be the only one that would read it anyway! Thanks for IMing with me last night. That made me happy! :) Have I embaressed you enough now?!!

Life is Precious

Well, after some much needed time with God I think I'm ready to blog. It has been "one of those days." An emotional rollercoaster with lots of ups-and-downs. The Lord has alot to teach me this summer and He's not wasting any time getting on it!! :)

Ethan, the friend from church with Luekemia, had another seizure today. It was worse than the last one and pretty traumatic for the family. He had been doing so well and it was so hard to hear about this major setback. My heart is aching for him and his family. The past months have been incredibly exhausting and scary. I can't even imagine what his parents are going through right now. When I dream of being a mom someday I sometimes forget that it can be the most challenging job in the world. It's impossible for me to put myself in the shoes of Mrs. Loomis. I'm sure it's a daily struggle to watch Ethan suffer and be completely helpless to do anything about it. So today was sort of a reminder that life holds no guarentees. God is sovereign and anything can happen.

A Week of Summer Freedom

This week has been kind of a "free week." I've only had work at the office so I've had my mornings free. For now, the only thing I've had in the evenings has been ACT prep (believe me- B-O-R-I-N-G!!). So I've had lots of free time to just hang out. I decided that it's been a good week; and even though I'm partly dreading starting next week I'm kind of looking forward to it. I'll be working the equivalent of a full time job starting Monday and I'm sure I'll be exhausted. But apparently I like being busy because I've had almost too much free time this week and there have been days when I look forward to going to work because i've gotten kind of lonely here at home!! That's always a problem during the summer for me. The boys are off with their friends and my dad's at work so it leaves my mom and I here at home. It doesn't bother me like it used to but sometimes I wouldn't mind having those childhood days back when my brothers thought I was so much fun to play with and they could care less about their friends!! I was SO HAPPY yesterday because Noah said he wanted to stay home last night and play games with me and another friend of mine from church. Thanks for hangin' with your sis last night, Noah! It was fun!

I'm sure I'll post next week wishing that I had as much free time as I do now- but at the moment I'm looking forward to my new babysitting job!!! If nothing else, it'll be good to get some more money into my college bank account.

Moments like these

Sitting on the couch after a fun game night looking at my most recent scrapbook. It was Noah, Caleb, and I. We sat for that full 10 minutes looking at the pictures and laughed and talked and nobody said anything even remotely mean to me or someone else!! It's moments like these that give me hope for something more. The relationship between the three of us is not God-honoring at all. I get along great with one of my brothers but unfortunately I can't say the same of the other. It's very discouraging and frustrating because I really don't know what I'm doing wrong and how to fix it. Thankfully, God gives us sweet moments to encourage us and motivate us to want to work hard to fix the problem. So if you'd like to pray for me, I'd appreciate it. I'm praying that God will give me wisdom and discernment so that I can make big changes in the way that my brothers (specifically the one) relate to eachother.

"How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!"

Psalm 133:1

And the list goes on...

I am totally a list person. I love the feeling of accomplishment when I mark something off with my Sharpie. However- when the list gets this long I avoid even looking at it!!! I should probably get off the computer so I can start tackling some of these jobs!!! :)

Simply Amazing

I know nobody wants to hear anymore adoption stories but I can't help myself!! :) Just be thankful that I shared this website with you so you can see the part of me that comes out in these entries.

Last night I got home from my piano recital and I had a message on my cell phone. It was my friend Corinne and she said that she had something to tell me. I called her right back and she proceeded to tell me that one of our mutual family friends had some very exciting news!! We've known the family she was talking about for quite awhile and last year they brought home a little girl from Korea. They'd talked about adopting again but really hadn't made any steps towards doing it. They got a call from Korea a few days ago asking them if they would be willing to adopt another little girl- the biological sister of the daughter they just adopted!! I wish you could've heard me squealing into the phone!!! I am so excited for them and in awe of how incredibly good our God is!! He shows me again and again His faithfulness. I wish I could post the picture of her- she is the cutest baby (i say that about all babies, though)!! She has big chubby cheeks, brown eyes, and these stubby little pigtails that stick up on her head!! Precious little girl who's going to a very loving family.

Now when will we get a call like that??????? Ha. Maybe I'd better count on a call like that when I'm the one adopting!!!

Back to the Books!!!

Thank goodness not school books- scrapbooks!!!

Before- just stacks of paper and pictures

During- the huge mess of scraps, tools, and stickers!

After- two Arizona layouts with more to come!!!

I have been enjoying scrapbooking the past day or two so much. I really hadn't scrapbooked (except to do Ethan's) since last summer. I almost felt guilty just sitting and scrapbooking all afternoon yesterday because I never do things like that. Scrapbooking is one of those things that I do for me- because I enjoy it. I love scrapbooking an event and having our family gather around and remember the moment that I just put in the book. It's so much fun to go back through my old scrapbooks and look at all the pictures as well. I dream of showing them to my children in 15 or 20 years and pointing out their Mommy when she was a kid. So next time you drop by my house, I will gladly show you my stack of scrapbooks!!



This morning I got up and Chloe and I went on a walk together. We roamed the neighborhood and she thoroughly enjoyed herself, as did I. It was nice to be out in the sun, listening to Sarah Groves on my mP3, and getting some excercise. If only the whole summer could be this carefree!! Next week I'll be getting up at 6:45 every morning to go babysit. Needless to say, I will savor my 8:30 walks with Chloe every day this week (Kristen, you need to move closer so you and Lucy can join us- Chloe liked her so much!!).



Tonight I have a piano recital. Yippee (that was soaked in sarcasm). I wish I were looking more forward to it. I am definitely ready for a break from piano. I love being able to play, especially when I just sit down and play worship songs for an hour. At times like that, I'm grateful my mom has forced me to take lessons for so long. When I have to do a recital or contest, I do not always appreciate her determination!!



I hope everyone has a wonderful afternoon!!! I'll be cheerfully greeting patients and answering phones all afternoon. How will you spend your summer day?