I'm taking a break from my camp posts to blog about life. Life is so full of ups and downs, joys and trials, disappointments and happiness. My heart is so torn as I sit here and write. Last week was an incredible week for me spiritually. Sweet times of worship and awesome teaching. I had a refreshed spirit. It was also a hard week for me. It's hard for me to watch all of these other families who "have it all together." I have a great family. We really do all love eachother but I don't think it's always outwardly expressed. Right now I'm just feeling very discouraged and saddened that we don't have the kind of love that they do. I try my best to be kind and obedient but it takes more than one person's actions to change a family. It takes humility on all parts, repentance, and most of all it takes Jesus to change us. I'd prayed so hard in the days leading up to camp that God would do a miraculous work amongst us and that we would have peace, no more arguing between my brothers, and that a huge step would be taken to heal the cracks in the relationship between us kids. But it didn't happen. Why? I don't know. I'm still working through that. What can I do to make things better? I have no clue. I'm at a loss of how to fix this but my Savior came to this miserable earth to die that we might be redeemed!! He came and died so that we could be forgiven and start fresh with life! He came and died and offers us hope and shows us incredible grace and mercy. Oh how I love Jesus. He's the rock on which we stand and the light in the dark.
I know that sometime, we'll work it out. I'll look back on this post and cry tears of joy instead of tears of sadness. I have hope that things will get better.
Right now, I better go fix my smeared makeup before our church's softball game! :P