So far, this school year has been completely different than I EVER thought it would be. I didn't think that I would have to wait nearly 3 weeks to start my actual classes. I didn't think I'd be painting my room and the kitchen- I thought I'd be putting all of my efforts into school! I've been motivated to graduate a year early for a long time. And finally, this year, the opportunity arrived! So my determination and readiness to work hard was in full gear. But there is one problem.... there's nothing to work on because school hasn't started!! So I managed to keep myself busy the last two weeks but today I was really struggling. As I rolled the walls of our kitchen with fresh paint I was "wrestling" with God. "Lord, why can't I just start? Why do I have to waste these three weeks? I could have done three weeks of lessons and been that much closer to being done with high school! Did we make a mistake? Am I supposed to be somewhere else other than here? I really thought that this was the path you wanted me on... but maybe it's not. I want nothing more to be in your will. Please show me why this isn't working." Well, you get the picture. I was doubting and fearing. I was doubting whether or not this was God's plan and I was scared of failing or disappointing Him.
So anyway, I painted for awhile and stopped for lunch. While eating, I realized that this is His plan. I just didn't think it was because it wasn't how I envisioned it. Why was I worrying? This was how God had intended it to be- so that I could learn patience and trust. Our God is such a patient Father. I'm in awe of how He hasn't given up on me yet! He just keeps bringing me back into His arms and showing me His love and grace.
So while I haven't learned like I thought I would the past few weeks, God has certainly been teaching me. He has made my heart free of the concern that was there and I can rest His arms because i can trust Him! He has a plan for me. And these weeks of waiting were just a part of the story He's writing.